Infatuation is Blind

Romantic infatuation is “the great deceiver” that fools so many...

The dictionary defines infatuation as the state of being “blindly in love”. You are “blind” to the faults of the other person. You think that he/she is just perfect. Other people can see plenty of faults, but you don't see them. You don't want to see them. Others may point out some of the faults to you, but you ignore them because you are “blindly in love”.

How do infatuations start? If I have feelings of love for someone, will I always have those feelings? What are the dangers of romantic infatuation? How do infatuations end? How can I tell if my love is real or just a romantic infatuation? Let’s consider these important questions.

Infatuations start fast
Romantic infatuations usually start fast. A guy sees a girl and he is attracted to her. He looks at her and smiles. Their eyes meet and lock. She gives a shy smile and looks away. But the message has gotten through, “He’s interested to him.

It’s a wonderful feeling to know that someone of the opposite sex is interested in you. The romance begins to blossom. It builds up as it goes. Each is enjoying the feeling of being attractive to someone of the opposite sex.

The feeling of being in love and the feeling that someone loves you are wonderful feelings. The guy and the girl may not know each other very well at all, but before long, each is saying, “I've never felt like this before. I must be in love!”

Is this real love? No, the person has not fallen in love with the other person. He/She has fallen in love with the wonderful feeling of love.

If I have feelings of love for someone, will I always have those feelings?
The answer is NO, Feelings of love are feelings, and feelings go up and feelings come down. They are never permanent.

Our feelings follow cycles. We have “highs” and we have “lows.” You may be on a “high” today, but a few days later, you may hit a “low.” There is really no reason for it, but you just hit bottom. Before long, your feelings change, and once more you're on top again.

Some people have higher “highs” than others and some have lower “lows.” Some manage to stay on the mountain top longer than others, but feelings are never permanent. They change constantly.

The feelings you have when you are involved with a romantic infatuation are wonderful, but they are feelings, and feelings will change.

What are the dangers of a romantic infatuation?
There are two big mistakes you can make when you are infatuated.

Mistake # 1 is getting involved sexually.
One day those wonderful romantic feelings will be gone and you will wonder what happened to your perfect romance. Then will come the sad part of breaking up. Breaking up is always painful, but when you have been involved sexually, it's ten times worse. Teens by the multiplied thousands will tell you, “I wish we had not gotten involved sexually. That made it so much worse when we broke up.”

Mistake # 2 is rushing into a premature marriage.
Marriage is serious business. not all moonlight, romance and roses. daylight, diapers and dishes! One day the romantic feelings will hit bottom. He's worried about his job and how he’s going to pay all those bills. She’s been up half the night with a sick baby. He looks at her and says, “I don't think I love you any more.” She says, “I don't love you any more either.” They head for the divorce court with all the heartbreak involved. The fact is that they never had real love for each other. It was only romantic infatuation.

How do infatuations end?
Infatuations end like they began - fast. They don't last long. They are like a ride on a roller coaster. It’s fun and thrills while it lasts, but it soon comes to an end.

How can I know if my love is real or just an infatuation?
It is NOT easy to tell if love is real or just an infatuation. In real love, you want to be with the one you love. The same is true of an infatuation. In real love you may get funny feelings when you think about that person or talk to him or her. The same is true of infatuation. In real love there is a physical attraction to the one you love. The same is true of an infatuation. But there are differences.

Infatuations start fast, but real love usually starts slow. Often it is just a friendship at first. You enjoy being together. But the friendship grows, and one day you discover that you truly love each other.

Infatuation is blind. You cannot see the other person’s faults because you are “blindly in love.” But real love is not blind. You see the person’s faults, but you love that person, faults and all.

Infatuation is all in the feelings, but real love is more than beautiful feelings. Anybody can say, “I love you,” but real love is more than just words - ­it’s a commitment. A commitment is a choice which is backed up with actions. At times you may have wonderful romantic feelings, and at other times you don't have them. But your love for that person is unchanged because you are committed to him or her.

Young people ask, “How can you hold on to love? Why is it so hard to keep?” In most cases, the reason it is hard to keep is that it is not real love. Usually it is just a passing infatuation. You may be involved in four or five infatuations as you go through high school. Each time you may think, “This is it! At last I've found the right person!” But later it turns out to be passing infatuation.

The best way to find out if your love is real is to give it time. Real love will survive the test of time. Infatuations won't - they fizzle out.

Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, gave us some good advice. He said, “Keep your heart with all diligence.” Concerning romantic matters, this means “guard your affections,” Don't go bananas over someone. Keep it cool.

You do not have to be “blindly in love.” You do not have to be so carried away with an infatuation that you do foolish things. You can use good sense in deciding that you do not want to become involved with someone who is not good for you. You don't have to “fall in love.”

It’s fine to seek friendships with those of the opposite sex, but don't get physical and don't be in a hurry. You may really like that person, but guard your affections. Friends don't “break up,” but lovers do. And when they do, there is a lot of hurt and regrets. You can send back the pictures. You can send back the gifts. But you cannot send back the hurt and the regrets.

To summarize…

Romantic infatuation is the great deceiver that fools so many people. The feelings you have when you are involved in a romantic infatuation are wonderful, but they will not last. You may really like someone, but guard your affections.

Stay cool ~

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