Never Ending Comparisons


Word to wise -- the quest for perfect soul mate can become a never ending search, if your expectations are unrealistic! If not careful one can find themselves bound in the pattern of never ending comparisons, from a never ending net search for that perfect partner. A quest which would not even seem reasonable were it not for the seeming inexhaustible numbers of persons one can interact with via the net.

If one is not careful in the net dating venue, an artificiality of choice and unrealistic quest for perfection can occur. The possibilities seem endless and yet that kind of thinking is where the problem lies.

Simply put: The MORE people you meet via the internet, who on one level may seem to meet a particular standard, the less tolerance one has for flaws, or human imperfections from a given individual. After all, you can simply return to an all waiting web site for that "ever closer" match!!! After so many interactions it simply boils down to COMPARISON -- plain and simple.

And unrealistic comparison is the main basis of dissatisfaction. Of course none of what I have just said applies to how one reviews obvious incompatibilities, kooky people, or predators.)

But the comparison/ dissatisfaction model/ cycle is something to think about. Look at the Bachelor Show model heralded on TV recently. Check it out, we view this artificial, yet "incredibly" ideal set-up where this man has 20 to 30 women of whom to "judge" -- all fairly good looking and he gets to whittle down, compare, whittle down and compare some more, till he gets to that one... LOL!

Now, say they get married, and say they have a simple disagreement (Gee -- how impossible is that? -- hah!). He could always throw up in her face how lucky she was to have been "chosen". Or conversely, he says nothing, but the comparison/ perfection thing comes to mind along with the "what ifs" regarding some of the other passed over "contestants" or other "options".

This is but one of example of the pillars which reinforce the culture of dissatisfaction -- bred further from the boob tube. And now we have a Bachelorette version! Plenty of choices and options for the women, too! Dumb and dumber.

Be careful.

- by Leisia Duskin, Featured Guest Writer

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