Short men: Live it up or live alone
It should be so obvious to woman and short men alike. Short men have it tougher in the dating arena, and really REALLY need to maximize their other attributes to level the field. In other words, they had better have a great face, a stunning body and be very charming. Of course, there is a chance of being labeled with the (inherently false) "Napoleon Syndrome" and hence "overcompensating". However, I, and likely other self-respecting short men would much rather stick up for and improve ourselves and deal with the stigma. The alternative is to be meek and "nice", and still get no dates while be "run over" by society in general. Thanks, but no thanks. And besides, being ambitious and hardworking should be admired no matter whether the person is tall or short. Right?
While we're on the subject of being perceived as "overcompensating", I want to ask. Is that such a bad thing? To you women: do you girls not highlight your best features (by what you wear) every time you go out on the town? Or how about people in general playing up their best attributes (and downplaying their worst) to get a certain job, or just to get sex? So to me, it seems utterly hypocritical and just plain stupid to label short men with the "overcompensating" label for any little behavior that MAY be viewed as too aggressive or even ambitious.
Speaking of ambitious... I've gotta say that many women on dating sites are waaaay too picky, given their own "limitations." I mean, c'mon if she weighs 200+ pounds at 5'1", she'd better damn well not be expecting tall dark and handsome. Heck, she'd better not be expecting handsome at all. Sounds harsh? Well, this brings me to the next point of my diatribe. Namely. women complaining in a manner that equates the trait of height in a man, to that of weight for women. They are NOT THE SAME. Only superficially do they have a resemblance.
So you ask, why is this? How can it be? Does this guy have any idea what he's talking about? Well, as someone who is very introspective, observant and loves to analyze, naturally I have pondered this subject, and to me it comes down to several points.
1) One can lose weight. One can't gain height. That is a fundamentally important difference. In our culture, we promote tolerance and indifference to those with physical traits that can't be changed. For example, (ideally) we do not pick on people for being Black, Asian, or having one leg longer than the other. Now, I am not saying that such traits don't influence selection in the dating game. I am simply illustrating a cornerstone of our moral stances.
2) When -->MOST<-- men look at women, they will be instantly/instinctively turned off sexually, by a big woman. In other words, she gets put in the "undesirable category". That's something that is not controllable. (Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, as with every rule)
However, when a woman looks at a man, height usually does not automatically make a man "ugly," although it may make him "undateable." Now please understand, this generalization is used within reason. (A guy who is 5' tall shouldn't be lumped into this description) I have some personal experiences that really nail this point home, for me at least. One experience would be the fact that my profile, on another dating site, has drawn a very considerable amount of views. In other words, the women are judging my face to be "good enough" to click on. Enough said there. Second, I know my body is "attractive" as well, and I am forward about this fact on that other dating site. I won't get into the details of how I know this (although it should be obvious). Yet despite all this, for some reason, I have had fewer than 10% of the women who view my profile correspond with me. Strange, huh? Geez, I wonder why that is? <sarcasm intended> Lol. Remember, my point is that while I am obviously "attractive enough" to warrant a look at my profile, my height is what likely makes me "undateable."
So there is a critical distinction to be made here. Height for men, in my opinion, is a selection factor that is driven more by the current social environment, than by instinctive processes. Please note I am NOT saying that it is only a socially produced construct; I AM saying that more, if not MOST of it is socially engineered by TV, movies, and even commercials! The evaluation of weight for women, on the other hand, DOES seem to be tied into an instinctive process.
3) As a man who excels at school, work AND is in great shape, I simply can't accept a woman who is NOT in decent shape (among other things). Yeah, this particular point is a personal statement and I admit, it's a bit of a rant. But there is an unspoken notion that a shorter man should be more willing to "accept" an overweight woman. Well… I say forget that! To be forthright, I am sporting 6-pack abs, a very toned body with good muscle mass, and somehow I should accept an overweight woman? I think NOT!
I know I know… surely you've read articles in which some psychologists claim that height preference is instinctive as well. I disagree for reasons that I ingrained in the three points above. I also happen to disagree with another sentiment that has been expressed by a few of you men and women here. that we should judge by what's on the "inside." What a crock of cow feces...
Surprised? You shouldn't be. While I have engaged in a meaningful essay on height for men, not once did I say that people shouldn't be free to choose based on looks. We should be, because it's part of being human. Those of you who throw around moral epithets as if they were a weapon that can be used to fight your bitterness and angst, are WRONG. When I see a hot blondie at a restaurant, you can be sure I'm not looking at her for her moral virtues. (As if we can judge morals based on a glance.) By the same token, when I bend over and a random girl is staring at my butt, I don't think she is judging me based upon my "visible" towering intellect. (Uh oh. I am displaying confidence here… so I must have that dreaded "Napoleon Complex". LOL!)
So for you men and women who have likely been moaning their whole lives about not being judged for what's on the "inside", do yourselves a favor and maximize your appearance by doing whatever is (reasonably) within your grasp. Hit the gym. Get that plastic surgery. In the meantime, build your confidence by working on yourself (i.e. excelling in school or at work). Basically, get a LIFE make-over. Because chances are that if you've been having terrible luck in the dating game your whole existence, that you are not physically attractive for whatever reason. Furthermore, things aren't likely to change without drastic effort. And let's face it… unlike other areas of life, confidence in one's appearance (which bleeds over into so many other things) is built by positive feedback from OTHERS.
On a side note, I would like to emphasize that the issue of a man's height in the dating world is a completely different issue than that of height in the corporate environment. I strongly believe it needs to be addressed in workplace because within this context, disdain/discrimination based on a physical trait is morally reprehensible because it interferes with a man's ability to make a fair wage based on his ABILITY. (Again, there are exceptions to this statement)
Whew, finally, I get to my last point. Namely, and I don't want to get too much into this since I am tired (lol), most of you men who wrote in response to this article, are a bunch of bitter pansies. (With the emphasis on "pansies") Bottom line: women use "nice guys" as doormats. They can deny this all they want, but you MEN KNOW deep down it's true. Just OBSERVE, and be honest with what you have seen in life. (Please don't mistake this as an endorsement for misogynistic behavior)
Any comments? Let me know! And thanks for reading!
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