Comment from vitalis-c
Hi Greg, Do not let whatsoever that happened between you and Candice and Dave to deter you from giving love when all around you are Hatred ,Unforgiving mind and the likes of that. Since you have no bad intention against either of then, I will advise you to continue to show love to both. Time will prove you right or wrong.

He should learn to not talk behind peoples back and if he does, then take the results.

Comment from TJN
I'd advise him to ask her to 'hear me out'...even if you hate me, hear me out and then decide. Tell her what was said, and tell her in what context it was said.  Then, after you tell her how it went down, honestly, then she will know if Dave's telling the truth or embellishing it for his own purposes.  The main point here is:  what I did, was wrong, not the 'he said, she said' details.  But, I think its important you hear both sides to get a clearer picture of the depth of the indiscretion.  If you still hate me, want distance and time.  I respect that.  I will be here when you decide you're ready to be friends again, and I understand that I must earn respect again, by my actions. This has been a difficult lesson I've learned.  Because of my immaturity, I have hurt a dear friend, and I may lose you as a friend altogether.  I truly respect and admire you and appreciate all the help and ear-time you've given me. I am truly sorry.  I hope we can work through this.  What I did was wrong.  This is where she will realize whether she has over-reacted, or has not given you the benefit of the doubt by not getting the 'other side of the story' from you!  Give her some time, she may be apologizing too I think!  One step at a time, at that point.  And don't forget this valuable lesson---> unless you have something nice to say...shut up.

Comment from Forrest
I think Brenda is right.  If he writes her an apology and explains that even though he pointed out some quirks of hers to good ole Dave, that the bottom line is he really values her friendship, and he thinks a lot of her.  He might also try and find out what Dave told her.  It may have been an exaggeration or an outright lie.  If she can't come around, she's damaged goods, and she isn't worth having as a friend.

Comment from Greg
Don't turn your back on the fool!!!! and leave this woman alone , If she was to care for your friendship she will be back! If not don't waste your time. she wouldn't be worth your time or trouble.

Comment from good_kisser
dumbass!  What were you thinking?  A friend, a gentleman, never, NEVER busts on a GIRL friend to anyone else, let alone another guy!  You might be able to bust out another guy, but NEVER a GIRL.  I'll ask it again...Dumbass. What were you thinking?  One disloyal deed, one broken trust, will break a thousand previous good deeds with a girl my man.  You are screwed.  If you go begging to her she will see you as a disloyal, conniving begging worm, and never let you back in her life.  If you don't beg her she will you as a disloyal, conniving, uncaring, worm, and never let you back in her life. My advice to you is to learn from this bone headed mistake, and never, ever, bust out a girl to anyone else, behind her back, particularly if she is even the remotest of friends.  You poor bastard.  Just go put yourself out of your own misery....

Comment from skotto9
Hey man I had that same problem like you.  But I cracked a joke about her in front of her face and in front of her friends.  That’s what happens when you have one too many.  I apologized and apologized but nothing happen.  When I confronted her about it and told her I was sorry she just threw it back at me and I have not seen her since.  It’s been a year since that happen and I haven't seen her.  You can do anything in your power to do the right thing and have things back to normal but it does not.  I think your going to have to move on without her because no girl is worth it if she does not give a damn about your "I'm sorrys" and "it will never happen again."

You probably don't want to hear this, but it sounds like you just want free advice all the time. Mainly because of this: 'I always go to her when I need advice on stuff like this or when ever I need her help in the love department. Quite frankly, she's probably my best friend in the world because of this."  There are no true feelings of friendship for her.  Which is wrong.  You're just using her, I'm sorry to say.  Maybe you told Dave the above and he told her, and there's your problem.  There are plenty of sources for advice out there.  No need to use somebody for it.  Find another source of advice.  Then, if you still feel awful that Candice isn't your friend, you can work on proving you care about her.  if she sees that, she'll probably come around.

Comment from kassim03
In fact what Brenda has said is just the truth; a real friend would forgive you for a mistake or two. Just give her time; she would come to realize you are a true friend and you care about her. Time heals all wounds.

Comment from darkangel21
Hey Greg, I know just how you feel. My best friend was a guy and we had a relationship going. We went out for nine months and after I dumped him because he broke my heart, he started saying nasty things about me to other people. He said to them that I wasn't a good friend and that I was self-centered and selfish. I wanted to go to college because I just graduated high school back in 2002 and he was just not into it. He said I always thought about myself and never cared about us. Well after that he told so many rumors about that his friends that were also my friends too hate me because of him. I say if you really love the gal, write a poem or song and or send flowers to show how really strongly you feel about her. That guy is not worth trying to steal her away from you after backstabbing you in the back. Women love to see sensitive, warm-hearted men forgive themselves even if they done wrong.

Comment from Sam,
Dear Greg, I think you’ve learnt your lesson. Your best friend is like yourself. As you love yourself, so you should do to your friends. Always try to protect your friend's pride for you. But you decided to stab her on her back. I think that is why she is too stubborn. However, I admire your attitude for accepting what you have done.  Not many people would care to feel that way. The only way out is prayer. Pray that God will speak to Candice to forgive you. I suspect that, Dave has some hidden motives for your friend you might not know. Be aware of white teeth. Cheers!

Comment from emmanuel74
Greg, just walk away from this and buy a glue and seal your mouth next time you are prompted to discuss your friends at their back. You are a real back-stabber and you got it bad this time. You are a looser. Learn to R.E.S.P.E.C.T women!

Comment from azul19
I agree with Ms. Ross's advice. Though I do understand you may have made fun of Candice in good will, just talking about funny things she does and such, not really making fun, unless you did badmouth her in every sense of the word. In any case, good luck, be patient, think things through. Try not to give way to errors when patching things up. Take your time with every word you say to her. Consider Mrs. Ross's advice and let her know her friendship means so much to you that you actually sought help online, though you don't have to be specific.

Comment from karina
Well, I think the same as Brenda. Perhaps Candice supposes you started all that because of the things Dave could tell her, he could have come too far to get you out of her way, so you should talk to Dave about this first, as it seems he wanted to make you feel like the only one who was to blame in this matter, speak to him sincerely about this to kill all kinds of doubts, then go on showing Candice that you are so sorry for what happened try on and on till she becomes your friend again, after all she needs to know the truth, how things were truly. I know Dave and you were too WRONG, but as Brenda says the real friends forgive you always. that’s what must happen with Candice. Don’t worry Greg, you’re going to realize everything is going right soon if you take my advice, well this is what I can say to you and I really know it is so great, because I also dealt with  a problem like this long ago and I could worked it out only by talking or facing this problem  like I knew I should. Good luck mate.

It seems you have been made the scapegoat.  I would feel annoyed about this and would feel like giving them both the cold shoulder.  They might then think about it and come round and try to be friendlier towards you.

Comment from thunderousKB
Greg, after having read your letter, I wonder why you even thought it a good thing to talk behind Candice's back in the first place with this jerk of a mate? What were you trying to achieve? Anyway, what's done is done. True friends stick together like glue, and NEVER put you down. So apologize for what you did. And the next time this situation presents itself... say NOTHING and save your bacon.

Greg, Never ruin an apology with an excuse.  Dave's actions are separate from your actions, so leave him out of it.  Tell her you screwed up and apologize sincerely- you could always send her flowers or a card.  That being said, if she really is your pal then she will forgive you.  Bringing up her faults isn't going to do you any favors though. Good Luck

Comment from dansk1
Greg saying that he "screwed up" is a trendy disrespectful use of the language! As a 'word-smith' I am constantly turned off by the trend of the younger generation to be narcissistic, placing themselves first, with expressions like "me and her", and many other self-centered expressions. Poor spelling is another.
Otherwise, I support the recommendations of Brenda Ross in this relationship matter. - the old codger

Comment from 66impala
First: I go with you on the apology thing. A true friend will forgive (if you are sincere) if you apologize. Why? Because if they are a true friend they will know you well enough to understand your jokes were not with malice (unless that's really how you meant it). So, you were being a butthead. That happens with men and women.
Second: How long has this friendship been going on? Candice is acting this way about jokes? Greg doesn't give an example of what he said here. Is she overly sensitive or were his "jokes" really mean and hateful about her?
Third: If Candice shuns Greg and he needs advice in the future forget Candice and write to you, Brenda.
Fourth: Dave is being a real RichardCranium here. Ditch the bum. Or at least be VERY careful what you ever say to him again. Greg, did you learn any lessons here?

Comment from eaglehawk
Good advice, I would do exactly like Brenda said.

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