Comment from mike
Go for it slowly. Make sure this is real. If it works, it could be the best think that ever happened to you. But before it gets too far, check it out make sure he is looking for the same thing as you and not just a one night stand. You are better than that, if that is all he is looking at, get out now before you both get hurt. Maybe he will some day wish that he had stayed with you. (I bet on it) Tell any man up front what it is you want without being too agressive and he will respone accordingly, if he is a man. Good luck to you and you will find true love at some point in your life.

Go get him, girl. I have the same feelings about a guy that I work with, but it's less than a month and he's been coming on quite strong. I'm just feeling the waters first before I go out into the blue.

Comment from Alice

I agree with Melanie. Take romance where you find it. Some wonderful couples have come from my workplace. It can be uncomfortable if you lose your professionalism. So be low key at work but don't pass this up. GO FOR IT!

Comment from Sentuh

 "You probably won't have to, as he'll most likely have proposed by then." That doesn't end the problem, surely? Sounds like he has very serious intentions - which could make it even stickier if things don't work out. How hard would it be to get a transfer within the same company if things didn't work out?

Just ask him out for a drink.

Not enough information here. Does Melanie have a solid career with her current employer? Does she want to keep working there? Is the male in question a superior, subordinate, co-worker? There are always too many variables when thinking about getting involved in the work force. Be cautious and mentally prepare for worse case scenario if he's not interested. Good Luck.

Comment from sc

My advice is to run away. don't do it control yourself, all this is from my really bad experience. Sorry, but that how I feel.

Comment from joadman

Obey your first instincts. Office romances are generally a bad idea for the reason that you mentioned--if it does not work out or he is not interested, then you will always have that "weird feeling." On the other hand, if the romance should develop into something serious and marriage results, many companies have policies about married people working together and one of you might face the possibility of seeking a new job.

Comment from sexxylegs

01 Dear Melanie, I have been married for 15 years and my husband and I separated some time ago. He says he is interested in putting our life back together-we have 4 kids-but I keep catching him in lies. He keeps posting profiles on singles sites and setting up secret email accounts. He denies that he is emailing women-they are all 10-15 years younger than he is- and that he still loves me but I have caught him doing this 4 times now. Each time he says he had learned his lesson and won't do it again and by now the trust is gone. I still love him and want to put our family back together but can I trust that this behavior will stop. I don't want to be slapped in the face with another "surprise."

Comment from Boomer396

Hey Melanie, I would offer these words of wisdom..."Never get your money where you get your honey". I had to quit a job because "things did not work out" and it got pretty weird with an at work relationship. But if you do go down that road, be up front with your boss, never let it mess with your job, and leave each other "alone" at work. Keep play time for after work and the weekends. Your at work to work, be smart about things.

Comment from felix64

It is a very tricky sick-tuatiuon. First if you are a smart person, just try to find out where he lives, then go close to that area and find a nice and beautiful restaurant where you would like to go dinner out with him, then, spontaneously like on Friday, just tell him that you would like to go out that night. And that you would like to consider him as a friend for that moment. If he accepts, then you tell him that you would like to go to a restaurant that you heard is very nice. So you drive and take him there. That would be an interest moment for you to see if he has another relationship with someone else. If he doesn't look nervous or different than is your job; and if he is very romantic and happy with your presence that could be a good sign that he really likes you and that he is free. If there is something different in his behavior, just don't get upset. Ask him where would he like to go instead and start from there. But at least you will show him that you are a smart lady. Because I think if he wants to take you on a trip out of where you live, that doesn't mean he loves you. May be he likes you, but, did he have good intentions? Your friend from date.com

Comment from manito

Just cut the crap and get to the point. Just make an agreement that if things don't work out, that you'll still stay friends.

Comment from homan

Stay clear... It will be a bad scene if a break up occurs.

Comment from MeJane04

At least at work you know the person better than meeting them on the Internet. Try the out for a drink thing. I missed my timing with someone in a similar situation and now he's moved on and I'm pretty much "stuck" but gradually moving on...no other choice now.

Comment from carebear

Hi there Melanie. It sounds like the guy is interested but why hasn't he asked you out? You know he may be a player and can tell that you're interested by your body language. Now that's the negative side so the only way to tell is say "hey, I'm interested in you but I am not sure of your intentions so lets go out for a drink coffee walk and be honest with each other. If we were not working together what would you do?" I think both of you have to quit the games and find out how you feel about each other. The idea of going out with a work mate may be bothering him as well. In that situation the romance will have to wait until the intentions are realized. That being said, nothing ventured nothing gained. There are lots of jobs out there. Go slow get real and at least you will know if anything can or will happen with this person. Remember that a person actually spends more time with there work mates then they do with there spouses and usually it is less stress and that makes that individual look and seem great. Remember most people are on there best behavior when at work so be direct in these situation I think this is the best solution. I hope it all works for you to ,you both sound like nice people and what I'm saying is not gospel just another approach at a difficult situation. Keep smiling its the cheapest make up you'll ever buy.

Comment from skialaska

Dear Melanie, If this co-worker has any brains at all, he will find someone unrelated to the work place. This is a litigious society that we live in. While it's unlikely that you could be involved in a sexual harassment suit, he is certainly putting himself at risk for a career ending decision in the case of a bad or awkward ending. However, I don't feel you are asking for advice but merely seeking have someone validate your lust fantasy. Go ahead and give in. You know you want your curiosity satisfied. Be prepared to live with the consequences, including putting your employer at risk. I have been there and done that.

Comment from LindaLou

Hi, I am having the same problem at work but we did date for a while it was great! Then he stopped talking to me. I felt and still feel like I was used my problem? Can't get over him!!! And then about six months go by he just came to my house. He invited himself over for dinner that following Sunday night. Yep stood me up. For a lap dance. And still see him every day.

Comment from ayiniyatt

Melanie, to open her mind to him and be clear what they both were in their minds. Silence will lead to nothingness and result will become painful. The same case was mine with a girl who were sitting in front of me in office & we only express our expressions, except words. At last I resigned my job with frustration and still pains the old time remembrances.

Comment from deb

In simple words my dear, give him a try, this is the only thing you have to do by now. Try to keep your romance apart from job atmosphere, then everything will be all right for you two. Do not get a mess in your mind. Remember, you`ll never know until you try, so good luck!

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