I'm seeing someone - Why does my mother insist I date my ex?

Comment from carebear
Hi desperate you didn't say how old Scott was. I'm sure you just grew apart being childhood sweet hearts hope you and Scott will remain good friends go slow with Paul due to his age he may find the same problems with you as you found with Scott on the other hand your probably a good judge of character based on the feelings you still have for Scott. Just ask your family to trust your judgment and that Scott is a great guy but its time to move on because your not on the same page anymore your lives are going in separate directions. The best of luck to you but remember that its great to love somebody but its even better if they love you to.

Comment from ladyinred123
I think she has to make her own choices and mistakes, her Mother should let her live her life. Lots of parents think they know better and don't want their children to make the same mistakes they made, I am a mother myself and know what I'm talking about .The mother should give her advise and butt out ."Love" is something you have to experience and the hurt goes with it sometimes.

Comment from tweety
I think she should follow her heart. Being with someone you don't want to be with is just not going to do a thing for either one of them. So she should go for what she wants, not what her family wants.

Comment from rodster
Good advice... I was wondering when Desperate was going to move away from home to live her own life?

Comment from Papalolo
I think Brenda has said it all. Some of our parents forget that they don't have to toll the hard line on their children in choosing life partners. I thing the desperate should let her Mum know that Love transcends material acquisitions and status. This reality must also be known to Ms Desperate.

Comment from marsk_A
I would not advise her and Paul just to tell her mother that's it alright, I would say. just take your time, u need to understand that age is a pretty heavy issue for mothers, let Paul first prove he is made for her and make mother more secure, so she will accept it more easy ... this takes time. Not arguing...

Comment from s1rdeath
Well me personally, If the parents does not prefer your choices they can get over it... It's your life they will not always be there so you have to learn to take charge to your own life. If you mother cant handle it then she needs to get over own past.To me she is trying to live a new life though you and have a chance she never had and that is wrong of her...Like I said before she will never be around for ever so she needs to understand your wishes to grow on your own. But I do understand your mothers thinking every one has a mother so are protective and some are not its that the fact is that she needs to understand that you need to grow for me I started living on me own since I was 15 so I understand about hard learning but try to break it to her softly because she is still your mother and no matter what you are her world so understand her as well...

Comment from Tewijager
I can't believe that a guy would not want to antiquing. Thank god you got rid of him. Sports sports sports how boring. Thank god you found a guy who loves antiquing and talking about his feelings.

Comment from Ukidsrmylife
Hello All, 6.5 Years is quite an investment in each other and perhaps that really needs to be the focus on this issue. We all know after that much time the butterflies can dissipate and that feeling is replaced by a lasting love for each other. If the "love" replacement has not taken place with "Scott" then perhaps I understand our readers' comments. My concern would be that this new guy Paul is in an excitement phase of the breakup, someone new (sort of speaking) and the fun that comes with that. If I did the math right she was 17.5 and he was 26.5. Maybe she just wants to date and live life again; hear all the things that seem to wander from our minds in extended relationships. I guess my concern is about giving up such an investment.
Bottom line is this, is she being manipulated into these feelings by "Paul"? When did Paul come into the picture? Has he been her "rock" to speak with though tough times with Scott? Or is she indeed ready to move on. Many a man I have met "prey" on women that are in such a vulnerable state. I don't have all the facts here, but I am hoping that "Desperate" will take the time to ensure a chance at life long happiness is not being let go by the fact that "Paul" pay's more attention to her then Scott did. I am sure at a point in time her relationship with "Scott" had all the same qualities and maybe that she needs to remember, better yet maybe she needs to remind Scott of that fact too. It could be just what they need. My passion comes from within and two people with all that time need to sometimes remember where they came from and how they traveled to where they are today. - Elan Ovall Sr.

Comment from Danskone
If Desperate had participated in sexual intercourse with the man her mother likes, and he had fathered a child, I would have to agree with her mother's wishes, because Dr. Laura and Biblical teaching tells us to remain with our 'bed-partner' if we have created offspring. However, if that is NOT the case, I would side with Brenda, that Desperate should explore the current second relationship. However, I feel that Brenda should encourage Desperate to find a more positive nickname, and replace the term "Desperate", because that name makes her a loser. - Dansk1

Comment from butterfly
Well desperate, mothers usually are right but there is a time in life when you're right. I suggest that you thank her for caring and tell her that you really care for Scott as a person but he's just not what you want. And stay with Paul and see where life takes you. Don't drop him because your mother thinks its right - you might make the biggest mistake of you life.

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