Last: Height preference is "Natural' whether you like it or not. I have tried to date some really great guys shorter than me (I'm 5'9" and almost 5'11" with shoes) and it never feels right because genetically we see them as 'children"...it's as if they are our younger brother's we helped raise, or the son's we've raised. Girls mature faster than guys and so we are taller for awhile at puberty and we don't start getting gaga over you until your height passes our height...it's genetic and hormonal! Every pure species (I mean no mixed races for the sake of my example not because I'm racist) the men in the race are always taller and slightly larger than the women...the same is even true of all animal species...only because mankind moved around the world and intermingled and inbred (this is true and you know it- I have family from the south who married family, those stereo-types are true) is the only reason this is a noticeable issue....I can say this without question because I get it from the other end of the spectrum: I am taller and not built as dainty as a lot of women...however I have no problem finding dates. Maybe my reasoning ability and lack of accusations has something to do with that...

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Scott, Being a single woman, not overweight, considered attractive, albeit not beautiful, and tall, I have this to say... I kinda like short men. Why, because in most cases they do overcompensate and strut their stuff, their confidence shows through. I don't consider that a "Napoleon Complex" or short man's syndrome.......what is though is someone who is a bully (and that can include an overweight woman OR man). I went through the "dating" system, and what turned me off was the obvious fact that "most" men wanted sex straight out. They would banter about the "what's inside" that counts fluff, and "honest man looking for honest woman" B.S. but when we met it was always the same, either inappropriate touching, innuendo, or plain out asking. When I said no, not yet, I don't know you well enough, I got the: how long am I supposed to wait (a second date might be nice!!)...you don't like sex?...you don't have a strong libido (I do!!)...I'm not good enough for you...Are you just a tease... It had nothing to do with any of those comments, I wanted to get to know them first, see if the chemistry was there or not. I was also (and this was from 90% of the men I agreed to meet in person) told that I was too aggressive, over confident because I knew what I wanted and didn't need to be lead or taken care of. Huh?? As far as women using "nice" men as "doormats" - I would bet the kind of situation this results from is one where the man had specific criteria (or an agenda), i.e. beautiful, blond, blue eyes, buxom, young, cute, fun, and if they're lucky, well off and wanting someone to help them spend it. I found a "nice" man in my later years (the ex was definitely a misogynist) and I love him to pieces, and treat him as well as he treats me (or better). Unfortunately, he's not the "marrying kind"..... I think the "doormats" are men who go out of their way to be extra "nice", call too often, buy too many gifts, do too many things, and then wonder why they're not being treated like kings (my girlfriend met one of those "nice" men). I thought she was very lucky, but after a while she started to say, "but I didn't ask him to buy me a new computer (example), he just did, after I complained about the one I had". When he showed up at the door with it, about 6:30 P.M., after dinner was eaten and dishes washed, he called her selfish because she didn't prepare him something to eat (and that was the end of what started to look like a long relationship). Now - I would have made him dinner and showered him with kisses, but she and I are different personalities, and what was he thinking.......that he was a doormat??!! What exactly does that mean anyway, don't "most" men treat women like doormats?? If the sex isn't there and/or very good, they take the highway, or if in a "relationship" find it elsewhere. Men, its looks and sex, usually for women it's love (commitment) or money. And in the end, it all comes down to a matter of taste. What's good looking to you may not be to the next man, etc.

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Defensiveness is never an attractive quality. Celebrate who you are.

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Comment from Lioness101
This is the sickest thing I think I've ever read. Grow up, Scott (pun intended)! You are a very superficial & insecure little man (on the inside). Ranting about overweight women and your sad attempts to make a pseudo-scientific argument out of it SUCKS. BTW, in anticipation of your defenses, no, I am neither overweight nor ugly (5'4, 130 lbs, natural blonde). I've dated short men, and I've dated tall men. I have no height prejudice, but I would not date you because you're so blinkin' superficial!

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A woman's point of view.......PLEASE, You seem to be an arrogant shot man. You fit it perfectly. Because you would judge others to put yourself up. I am fat. But I am not huge. (well my chest is) I am still very cute. If I meet someone in person 95% of the time they are attracted to me. Or if they see my PIC first. But you men (especially ones like you) Have the nerve to judge before you even see me. PIFF. I have the right to be choosey. And I will be.

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HI Scott, I understand. I am on the short end as well - I am 4'9'. However, I am also one of those women that is overweight and trying hard to lose and tone up. For the reason that I am overweight I do not put a picture up. I am not a shallow person nor do I want a date that is shallow. I want to be asked out based on my personality, etc. not my looks. And lets be frank I don't need any nasty comments from people who think I am too fat for them. Obviously, if that is how they feel they are not the one for me. There will be someone , maybe even more than one who will ask me out based on my intellect and that to me is so much more important. I am a poet and college graduate and know my worth is not based on my weight but I do feel better (health wise) losing weight. And it gives me an added activity to do during my day. I want to let you know that I do not discriminate based on height. In fact my profile I believe states from 5'6' - 6'0". But I only date men who are smart and emotionally stable (in other words emotionally available). Absolutely no game players. Those guys are the worst. I have dated a nice guy but he was not emotionally ready for a relationship. And nice guys are great. Take care Scott!! There is someone out there for you and I believe many some ones but look for the smart women. Smart women know great guys when they see them whether they are short or not.

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Scott-- I agree with your opinions. Most women see tallness in a male as desirable, the taller the better. (As you can see by reading my profile, I am an exception, because I prefer a man who is closer to my height of 5' 4" than one who is tall.) And, yes, let's face it, appearance matters to everyone and is one of the first decision-making tools we use in the dating game. Later we might--and hopefully do--get to the appreciation of "what's inside" a person, but certainly that is not the first criterion used.

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I want to thank you for your honest article.

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Comment from time4mem0ries
I'm a short woman what you'd call petite. I at one time weighted in at 390 lbs. But have lost 269 lbs. I never had a problem attracting men as I have a nice face and my personality is great. But as a large woman I didn't want to be labeled. I understand how you feel about women preferring tall men. I myself have voiced this and to my regret. A very nice man drew it to my attention and he was 5'2". We went out had a great time. We were not a match but his height didn't bother me. I felt lucky he ask me out and over looked my profile saying I liked tall men. He's was great to talk to and we did spent and enjoyable time. I never noticed his height. And friend he wasn't good looking. He just ask me to give him a chance and I did. His article is so true. women do want tall but believe you me its not the height that makes a man. Your article was honest and to the point. I did feel you were expressing the pain people have made you feel. And I'm sorry. I am 4'11 and I myself have been attracted to tall men. But would go out with short men. Who am I. I've been that fat woman but a lucky one. I was and attractive fluffy woman. Personality is the key. Not how you look. Or weather you can lose or grow or get teeth its your personality. Your soul. I'd date you and don't even know what you look like. Not because I'm in need but because you have been honest as to how women have made you feel. I have been on both side of that stick and its true you can over look a real good man by being picky. All people should just look for the heart. and if you have warts on your nose and three legs look into that persons heart you may be over looking your soul mate. This isn't the sixties where we have to be a certain way. I'm glad you wrote this as maybe more people will think when they fill out there requirement for the perfect date. And guys leave out your income there's a lot of gold diggers out there. Keep up the great writing you sound like a great guy weather you have a six pack body or three eyes. I'd date you just because you don't judge a book by its cover you judge it by the heart that's inside of it.

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Loved the article! Well done.

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Comment from alquione
Scott - just for scientific purposes - check what happens when you change the height on your profile... otherwise interesting article

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Comment from Sharle843
Height, Size, and Weight, is definitely not an issue. Every person on the face of the planet has certain desires and limitations when it comes to the dating seen. If we did not we would not be human, but when it all comes down to the bottom line, and that word Love comes into play, Short, Tall, Small, Medium, Large, or education, will mean nothing.

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Comment from rosered410
Wow, Scott! At least you tell it like it is. I like that in a guy! BTW, I'm only 4' 10", 107 pounds. I know how you feel to a certain degree. I believe I have the Napoleonette complex! Yikes! LOL

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Comment from cfish000
Scott, Delightfully funny and wonderfully observant and irreverent. Having 3 short brothers and watching their trials and tribulations, I hear some of the same comments from them-at least the one single one who is looking. Personally, my take is I really try to look inside of a person. Not real concerned with outside looks/height etc... The package can be great on the outside, but if there is no substance on the inside, I'm outta there. Finally, as a woman, I really hate being judged solely on looks. It initially does get me a lot of response, but I do demand a brain... Keep writing. Best of luck to you.

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Comment from elisedd
Well I totally agree with Scott, he has it tough. but they also make their own bed (literally)because they actually set themselves up for failure by saying that they are real short a lot of times so it sounds like they have a low self esteem which is also a turnoff for a lot of woman. Personally I like a smaller man, they are usually very cute and sweet. I am 5'6..well anyway good luck Scott and be nice to the girls, they are just so afraid what others think, so you have to actually kinda feel sorry for them that they passed by a hottie.

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I just have to comment and say while you might be right when looking at the general population, I being an attractive women, would date people my height or taller. That would mean men around 5'6 and up. Please don't post this anywhere, but I found this article quite amusing and couldn't believe you had so much to say about height. Contrary to the norm (go figure), I actually prefer shorter men. Can you send me a pic? - lol

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Comment from havinanorgasim
Sorry Sir.... But height is extremely instinctive for me.... at even the first glance of a short man ...I immediately think to myself...little boy. I think "little boy" and "little parts".... just face it, a man doesn’t want a woman who is bigger (fatter, taller or more muscular) than him...Why would you delude yourself to think a woman would be attracted to mini man… one that is smaller and probably shorter. You speak of instinct.... did you ever think its instinct for a woman to want a big strong man because he can protect her...he would naturally be a better hunter & gatherer. No offense…just like a fat girl…. you can have the prettiest face in the world…but body does matter. When are men going to admit to themselves…. Size DOES matter. You guys want a cute delicate smaller girl…. I want a big strong strapping man. Get over it and deal with your own flaws. Woman can’t force themselves to be attracted to a short man…. anymore than you can force yourself to be attracted to a fat girl. Life isn’t fair…. get over it.

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Comment from winksdr
I love short men. They are best in bed. I'm also petite. So why would I want a giant?

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Comment from ksnorkel
WOOO WOOOO WOOOO... guest writer Scott is telling others that they have a bitter problem or that the men are pansies, that people who are overweight can just lose weight, that he doesn't have a Napoleon complex?? I can understand some of what he is saying, however, he and I would not agree on this point; I do not believe that a person should be judged on his/her appearance. He of course contradicts himself in this article, saying that he shouldn't be judged on his height which is part of ones appearance, but he sees nothing wrong with eliminating a female on her appearance because of her weight. Can't have it both ways buddy. Now why does he think he is having problems with dates after responding to them...hmmmm... could it be something that he doesn't mention in this article. How about personality or attitude? I can tell you from what he has written in this article, his attitude is the pits. That is only one females opinion... might want to try humor a little Scott. Oh and this is coming from a 5'11, bbw, who does date and you know is a pretty person, but her personality makes her more desirable.

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Comment from heidi
Scott I think you made a very good point height should not matter its what's inside what really counts good luck!

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Comment from RubyGirlFriendX
This comment is from an email to my boss at GirlFriendX.com who would like me to address this issue in a future update of his The Rules of Engagement E-Book Series (a dating guide for men that will work alongside a new 3-part software package that helps men manage their love life) - GirlFriendX.com. I thought my comments to him would be good fodder here. * marks a unique comment not from the original "Yes, my little Napoleon... I've had a Micheal J. Fox syndrome since I was 3, so I have no idea what the issue is with women. I tend to have a soft spot for short guys, younger guys, or baby-faced guys, because I view them as non-threatening and not dominating. Now, many other women I know like very masculine facial features, older and taller men. Perhaps its coming from the desire to be with guys that are like a "father figure" or "protector" or someone who can dominate them or others. You can chalk that up to the fact that some men like older, intelligent and classy women (a lady) while other guys like young and naive toddlers. This would only go in Book 1, so I can save it for that purpose or use the idea for content on the site. You know, the term "overcompensating" is not given to guys who are trying to accent their best features. Its given to guys who try to incorporate every possible masculine trait to "compensate" for their height. Such as the 5'2" body builder who owns a Gucci watch, drives a Firebird, smokes Marlboros and gets a $200 hair cut - then gets pissed when women won't date him because he absolutely lacks any personality and is obsessed with himself! (Must be the height, he says.) It gets compared to weight because girls who are overweight try very hard to compensate for it and many just are fat bitches who claim its their weight and not their personality." * I'm a 5'10 amazon. I've never been small and I never will. I've had two pregnancies and I ate terrible until I was 19. I'm healthy and fit but I carry more then my fair share of extra weight. Some of it will go (just had a baby), some of it will stay. Oh well. I'm still considered sexy. People are attracted to both my style of dress that accents my hourglass frame and my hats that add to my already unique presence. Some guys won't like me because I'm too tall, too fat, too ***. But other guys desire me with a passion. We should always try to put our best foot forward but we should also realize that no one is universally attractive physically.

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Comment from smileye
I personally won't look at less than six feet tall. I am tall myself and would like to look up to a man. But I know that there are short women out there that also don't want an amazon. I don't believe in the insides either. The outside counts first. There must be an attraction.

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Comment from biral01
Good article, especially comments re: looks matter! Of course looks are a factor. As for men who are 5ft tall, well what women that are 4ft 10"? These women can't turn down 5ft tall men and expect some 6fter to "sweep them off their feet". I hear enough women whinging about men preferring blondes and slamming them for it. These women ought to look at their own sex and how they go for tall men, even the ones who aren't exactly tall themselves. Also, it's women who have the "tall, dark and handsome" cliché so women who whinge about gentlemen who prefer blondes should, again, look at their own sex. By the way, and I'm not saying this to look good or to say "hey look I'm not like those other girls" I'm saying this because it's 100% true, I couldn't give a ... how tall or short a man is as long as he's taller than me.

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Women use nice guys as doormats??? What the hell...I'm dating a very nice guy who is "height challenged" he's a great guy. The consummate gentleman. I totally appreciate all the nice things he has done for me...as a matter of fact I think I like him very much because of this...all you woman (if this is true ) who used him as a doormat, has lost a great man in your life...I hope to keep him in mine!!

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Comment from stillkicking_A
Scott, I think you got some of us woman all wrong. Height is not one of the traits I look for. At this point in my life it is about how I am treated and what we have in common. After coming out a really bad 20 year marriage I can say with all honesty that I don't care what the height or the mug. If you treat me with a mutual respect and a certain amount of dignity I will consider dating you. The attitude most women are turned off by is not the so called assertiveness or ambition. It’s the arrogance and insecurity that is termed the Napoleon complex. I have no problem with the lack of height. I prefer a man who takes very good care of himself. It always shows. And its not only the nice guys that woman walk all over - sometimes its the nice woman who gets trampled by the newly recreated Hot guy taking too good of care of himself. Goes both ways. I go for personality and spark.

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Comment from nephitess
Dear Scott, I am sorry you feel the way you do. I also have a problem getting dates, this is because I am ugly. The only guys interested in dating me are alcoholics. It is easy for me to think it is a problem with me. However as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints I am lucky that my friends make me feel as though I am a special daughter of a loving heavenly father. You Scott are a special son of him and if you are unable to find a decent woman it is because you are looking in the wrong places. There are plenty of decent women out there who are looking for a decent guy like you so don't give up. I have recently found out why I think I have had trouble finding a decent man from within ,my church, My divorce had not been entered onto my church records, so I am looking to a future full of hope. I am not asking you to become a LDS (Mormon), but you will find most of our men and women have different values to the rest of the world.

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Comment from beachcomberNS
So, Scott, you are shorter than the average guy and I am older than the average dateable woman, or whatever that 'average' means??? I found an interesting guy on the i-personals and guess what he won't date me because I am too tall at 5'6". Am I having a spot of bad luck or are there other underlying 'guy' criteria that I am not meeting??? Anyway, not all women really care if you are 6' unless you are dating from the models gene pool!!! We are much more interested in a guy with morals and a good sense of humor, like you said life can be a bitch... Good luck with the ladies and remember, older can be fun, too.

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Comment from addasmile
The article is so much sour grapes. Short, as I am, is not a handicap. Feel fortunate, you have legs and can get around. Let your assets determine your attitude and altitude. You are who you are and you need to get over it and rid yourself of the idea that someone else has it better, easier, etc. Everyone has their shortcomings. The best looking, tallest athlete is carrying his ego, poor guy. Just go create a life and be alive with enthusiasm for you and every human being you meet. Be a generous human, help others, honestly care about them. Just be a hero because you want to be one. Nothing else matters . . . what are you doing for your fellow Humans??

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Comment from merhar
I did not even read the only way to get the better looking women is to have a fat wallet - that is what they go for.

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Comment from minxxfru
WoW!! While some of what Scott has to say is somewhat universally true there are other parts that are WAAAAAAYYYYY off. I have always been various sizes of voluptuous BBW and was married for 22 years to a man who had a body of steel, great 6 pack, arms, legs. the whole package and it's what I'm most attracted too. Since my divorce I've been very actively dating, men constantly tell me how HOT, Sexy, desirable I am, but along with that is that I'm funny, caring, engaging, communicative. I have healthy self esteem, while it's helped out by the many flattering comments I receive on a daily basis, self esteem is really about the interior voices and not the exterior input. I have to say the height thing is an issue. he says it shouldn't apply to the workplace yet, weight applies to the work place on a daily basis in many business, highly qualified, well put together plus size will lose out to inept skinny well put together many times. but that life and the consequences of that kind of shallow business decision will reflect in their books. I've dated short men, and have liked them but when it comes down to relationship just can't see myself with them because it hasn't been my experience to lean down into a kiss. it's that simple. When I do it. it feels awkward and foreign to my body. Like I said I'm a voluptuous woman, definitely not the barbie doll type, but I date tall, lean, tight, sinewy men on a regular basis. There is a large section of men in society who like the Big Beautiful Women and must "sit" on those feelings publicly because the media deluge is skinny bony women are HOT and they don't want to be judged by their peers who they believe the media imagining. I also know thin women who love a man with a big belly. it’s not my thing at all, but they LOVE it and call it the Teddy Bear effect. I once had a woman tell me being with a big guy was the best she ever had it was so soft and sensual. it gave me insight to why men "adore" me. Anyways, everything is relative Scott, some people like tall, red heads, others like short curvy brunettes, everyone has "types" that make their hormones fire up and it's always been that way. The problem is when people have preconceived notions about what is "right" and "wrong" in the combining of two people that the errors are made. I've known several short men and all of them have been married to women at least 3-4" taller than them and do people think that's "odd" , yes,, because media imagining always shows women (barbie doll types) with the taller than her (ken doll types) I think you had some valid points. but you have to much anger and judgment towards heavier people and think they all deserve to accept whatever they can get. the point your missing is. many are getting exactly what they want and that's the lean tight, 6-pack type of guy who loves their softness and curves. to thine own self be true. and best of luck.

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Comment from mynameischris
Sure, you are right... but I just turned down nice man, he is my height, 5'0". I feel as if we just escaped from Snow White and 7 Dwarfs...It's just to comical...

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Comment from laughing_romantic
Pure HOGWASH. I think this over-confident man is lumping all his possible "undateable" traits under height. I have viewed a lot of profiles because they looked promising and contacted less than 10% of them easily. Is it because they are large women? No- it is a combination of what they say, their attitude, their looks perhaps but much more. I would assume it is the same with the women looking at this man's profile- probably good looking up close but the whole picture isn't everyone's cup of tea.

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Comment from Luvuonly
I agree, I myself have trouble with woman because they say I'm too short but they rather go out with someone who is taller plus they're beating on them, cheating on them, but hey if that's what they want, so be it.

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Comment from alwayshappy_a
HI Scott, I understand. I am 5'9 and feel my options are limited by being so tall, not that I do not love being tall, I do but I still think most men want to be much taller than there woman.

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Comment from iknowyou
Perception is reality and only your insecurity, although in the past, was the reality. It has nothing to do with height. It is a proven fact that tall men have a much harder time. For the purpose of understanding, we will eliminate men under 5 ft. tall and over 7 ft. tall. I have extreme success with women, my height being 5 ft. 6 in. and by choice the woman range from 5 ft. 2 in to 5 ft. 9 in. By golly, that covers that height range that most women fall into. I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes either. Now let me see, the flip side is that blondes are seen are dumb and blues eyes being recessive are prone to blindness. But back to height, I played baseball, basketball, and football, and in my early years I heard that I was too short or small, but after multiple awards for best athlete, most valuable player, and All Star Awards, I heard nothing of the sort. Next time try an article on men with blonde hair, and the perception of being dumb, surfers, aloof, and simple minded.

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Comment from peppermint
I think Scott has a lot of issues other than just being short. To even suggest that other people get plastic surgery to maximize their attractiveness.....geeeeeeez!!!!!! Scott....YOU need to look past whatever it is you don't find attractive in other people and see the inside of the person for what they are. I think you're missing some great women and opportunities...no wonder you're not getting responses. As for me....I just like the way I feel when I'm with a guy who is taller than I am. Fat, thin, athletic or not, lots of hair, no hair....I'm a sucker for a guy with a great sense of humor who can look me in the eye when he speaks to me and makes me laugh. Period. I may not be the thin beauty YOU are looking for....but my acceptance of others for who they are certainly makes me dateable!

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Comment from freespirit
I suppose many would read this essay and exclaim "issues." I however "get it". I too am height challenged. I am a six foot tall, attractive, assertive woman. In short, (no pun intended) I scare the hell out of the majority of men. So Scott, I feel your pain, lets hope for the both of us there is one man and one woman apiece who is not hung up on the superficiality of something like height. As a side note, it is rather tough to have passion with a person whom you are not attracted to but intellectually and emotionally stimulates you. I believe that is a friend. Good luck comrade!

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Comment from pensy69
HI Scott, I'm 5'9" and I love short guys. I'm rarely approached by short guys. Would you date someone that much taller?

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Comment from maytwentyfour
Short men are often handsome in a cute way. I think I would go to heaven if I met a man under 6ft who was a Professor. The patient teacher mentality and the cute face is a real turn on for me. my photo available for asking.

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Comment from LA_Lady
Scott, My experience is that most of the profiles I see are men 6' and over. Since I am 5'1", I prefer not to look and feel like a midget on a date and am excited when I discover profiles of men better suited to accompany a size 4 woman. I admit I like a nice looking man and shy away from the 6 footers and those with "a few extra pounds". My biggest complaint is that guys my age want to date a woman 10-20 years younger. I'm 56 and not looking for someone old enough to be my father.

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Comment from harliwoody1
I am the short guy who is in pretty good shape based on my age which now enters into the picture as well. I am now too old except for the less than attractive mature women and again the cute ones can still have the pick of the litter. I have always been considered cute and fun as I sing and dance and love to act up on a cruise and become many times the life of the party. Short equates sexually also to most of these women and regardless of their height they like "big" men. When I was younger I always would not accept the less attractive ladies but would usually ask the heavier cute ladies that were short. My learning experience was also retarded because I graduated from high school at 5'3" tall which is way too short but did luckily get to 5'6" by the time college came along.

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Bitter, sexist, woman hating, little boy.

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Comment from dadoo
How tall are you? How short is considered short in the dating field?

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Comment from wiehagens
There are short women out there (I'm one of them)--I wouldn't mind finding someone I "fit with" to love.

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For one thing your guest writer implies by saying that because he has 6pack abs and a toned body, he should not have to accept an overweight female for a date. "WAKE UP!" No female in their right mind overweight or a perfect 10 would consider you as date material. By the time you say hello that cocky attitude of yours will be noticed by a possible date you have thought about asking for coffee and every other female in the gym at the time will know you for who you really are. A superficial short guy with no real interest in her as a person. We all know your type.

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Dear Scott, I think you have answered your own question about why you might be undateable. I don't think it has anything to do with your height at ALL. I have never chosen a potential partner based on ANY physical characteristic or trait, I have dated all races, heights and hairlines, all waistlines and all inseam lengths. I think your problem may have something to do with whatever essay you posted, not your photo. Since in your own estimation you are getting "views" based on your photo, and they are not contacting you - it may be that your personality traits are unattractive. If you are "ranting" about overweight women, and making comments about "hot blondies" you are making your fixation with outward appearances very (repulsively) apparent. Here's a news flash for all the visually fixated males who could care LESS about a woman's personality as long as she looks "hot" -- even women that you might classify as "hotties" doesn't want anything to do with a man who is shallow enough to want her just for her looks. A woman wants a man who can love her for who she is -- not what she looks like. If you can't see that - you will remain undateable. Perhaps your own fixation with appearances leads you to believe that this is normal and that everybody else shares this particular opinion. You would be wrong. Just from reading your article - I can tell you that you could be 6'3" and I wouldn't be interested in you. Your article is an immature rant based on superficial and offensive viewpoints that are probably doing more to drive people away from you than your self-proclaimed lack of height. I think it is rather a lack of soul that you are suffering from. I don't have any anger, or angst, and most of the people who have met me through this and other sites feel that I am very pretty - so your theory falls apart on all counts. But, I still have some very basic standards of what is attractive in another human being - and it is things like compassion, self-confidence (not to be confused with what you have - which is ego), kindness, gentleness, acceptance for others and many other very attractive traits that you are clearly lacking. Instead of advising people who don't agree with you to go the gym (which I already do - thank you very much) perhaps you should take your own advise to begin working on what YOU can change. You can change your attitude, you can lose some of the ego, you can become more accepting of others and stop looking for superficial reasons for someone to dislike you -- when there are some very real and very important areas in which you are so clearly lacking. I hope this article helps you, and that you will eventually find someone who is willing to overlook your shortcomings (no pun intended) and date you for what you have to offer from your heart - not just because you might make good money and have six-pack abs. I hope you take this in the spirit in which it was offered.

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I am short (5'5" -at 18 I was 5'6"), 57yrs, and I NEVER had a problem getting companionship nor dates. I did NOT appeal to everyone. In fact many woman wanted nothing to do with me beyond a "friendship". However, I had many dates and companions. I have tried being nice and have ALWAYS been stepped upon when I did. I have done well and liked most of my dating experiences. Personality does a lot to help with success. Anyone with a "less-than-desirable" attribute must find another way to compensate for it. I f you do not like that fact - tough! Do it or lose out. I liked what you said and the way you said it. I also do not like overweight women (this means those who lose their female shape and/or have a leg that is bigger than my whole waist) - ugh! Thanks.

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Comment from foreveryoung02
I read your article because as a woman I have always been attracted to taller men. (I myself am only 5' 1"), but recently fell hard for a very short guy. He didn't even have a hot face. No, but he had a body to die for. So, I know from experience that a nice body for me anyway is a major turn on, regardless of how short he is. More power to you, for staying in shape. I think everyone man or woman has something that they really look for in the opposite sex. Me it is a good body and of course a good personality. That doesn't mean I wouldn't date someone who didn't have a perfect bod, especially at my age, guys tend to have the beer gut going on, so I can't be too picky, but ideally, a nice bod is what flicks my bic.

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Comment from Sassy
Short men should understand that short women have a hard time losing weight. I have been going to the gym almost 7 days a week, but can't seem to lose an ounce. Younger women don't seem to have that problem, but when I woman is middle aged, it is very hard to lose weight if you don't have the right metabolism. I think the person that wrote this article was very unfair to women with a weight problem.

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What can I say? He is right.

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Comment from me...
I guess as not the hot blonde... I would like to say that yeah, looks do matter some... short or tall or over weight or to thin or to buff or not buff enough to me it's something facially if you have a cute face or smile or eyes I mean its those small initial attractions there is no doubt but why should size matter I think men are more picky mind you I'm not a fan of woman I think they put them selves out there provocatively some not all but it's like don't you want someone to notice you naturally for you without being overly done or scantily dressed? but I think it is what's on the inside and I do think that people can not tell what's on the inside till they get to know you and there is some initial attraction but why should size matter I know a few big woman and men who are cute because the have nice eye and or smile and if a buff guy wants some hot taken care of gym girl well be prepared because woman do it for attention some guys too big ego booster to have been gawked at I imagine but really I don't understand to me its to much about a body when maybe you could try and just think they are cute by the way they smile or look facially I don't know its just my opinion as a woman that its to much about the body

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Comment from one_beachlvr
Wow! Your article is a bit blunt but I agree with most of it. At 5'10", I do use height as a decision maker and I don't usually respond to men shorter than me. In fact, I probably like the man to have at least 2 inches on me so I don't often even write back to anyone under 6'0" unless something in their profile was just really right on with what I'm looking for. I'm just not comfortable being taller than the guy I'm with, although I'm not sure it's a society influenced thing or not. I simply want my man to be the man...bigger, stronger, someone I can look UP to! I want to feel feminine and I don't feel feminine if I'm bigger than my man! In defense of the "it's what's inside that counts", I think you dismiss that too quickly. Yeah, you've got to be decent enough on the outside to get the initial attention but I think, at least for women, the inside stuff starts taking over by the 2nd or 3rd date! And many women do appreciate nice guys so I disagree with you there. However, if you mean ugly, nice guys...then my observation is that they often try to play out of their league, and yeah, if they do that, they might get used. Why not? An ugly guy needs to accept the fact that he probably needs to settle for an ugly girl, just like that overweight girl needs to realize she ain't getting Mr. Universe!

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Comment from GerbilsOnToast
Your point one is valid - idealistically speaking. Your point 2 is poorly substantiated - and I disagree completely. I agree that most men, given a choice, will opt for a slender woman for a relationship - but they aren't "turned off" by anything, so long as it has the parts. (I had a 300 lb. college roommate; believe me, she had no problem with short-term relationships!) AND - for reasons as individual as people are, we ALL have 'turn offs", (yeah, women too!) and height MAY be included in that, as may any physical feature or behavior. Personally, *I* have a very strong preference for tall, skinny guys - to the exclusion of all other body forms. In this country, most men are in denial and figure that if they don't have to shop at the 'big men's store', they're slender - when in reality, most studies show over 60% of them are fat and in denial. They also assume that women prefer older men, therefore they can 'chase' women twenty years younger - and some of us definitely do NOT. I find them completely uninspiring at best, and grotesque at worst. Do I feel 'guilty' for this? Nope. I'm also aware that the body form *I* find attractive, most other women don't. Am I annoyed sometimes that the guys who would be 'height appropriate' for me seem to want the women who are 'height appropriate' for YOU? Yep, but everybody is different - just the way it is! (btw, I don't find muscles a plus, either) Which transitions into your point 3 - no, you shouldn't 'accept' anyone you find unacceptable. That would seem pretty obvious. What is ingratiating in your essay is that you aren't being exactly open-minded in your assessment of other people's motives. Yes, I certainly write less than one response per 10 profiles viewed... probably less than one per hundred; maybe in the neighborhood of one per five hundred... Because I don't read anything that makes me want to know more about the person, let alone know the person. "Ask me later"??? I don't think so. "I'm lookin for a woman that wears thongs"??? Puh-leeze. I'm not denying the underlying 'point' here is ultimately mating, but geez, if you aren't intelligent enough to TRY to make me believe you have an interest in a bit more of life - don't bother me and I won't bother you ;)

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Comment from Frank
Short people neeeeed somebody...to loooove. Especially when they use women to have a soft place to land, are lazy, yet intelligent enough to fool women into supporting them.

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Very agreeable. I'm a single girl nice body blonde hair blue eyes ...the whole nine yards, but I'm very picky with the men I date. They have to be at least 4 inches taller than me and I'm 5'7". I have dated shorter men but as soon as I put on my heels to go out to the club most have told me to take them off and wear flats. And yes both women AND men use the nice ones for doormats, so don't put all that blame on the women.

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Comment from letzd8
Hey Scott, You hit the nail on the head. Totally agree with everything you had stated. Keep up the good work! It totally gets me that when women who are 6" shorter than me and don't want to date a guy who is less than 6'2 when they are only 5'2" Were they brought up climbing a stepladder? C'mon ladies! Dino

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Comment from eminsk
I appreciate what Scott is saying and some of it even rings true for me as I have gone through my past relationships. But I think there is a bigger force at work and I believe if it is recognized it can be conquered as long as you acknowledge it and meet it head on. Speaking as a happy healthy sexy 5'7" male, I recognize that there are a lot of women out there who think only a tall man can protect them and their future kids and so are willing to avoid meeting a man under 6' in fidelity to this animal-level value. I also recognize that while some of these women end up in happy relationships, a lot of them end up with guys who haven't had to work as hard to succeed while navigating through our society's cultural signposts. I also know that a significant portion of these women also wind up getting used and kicked to the curb by jocks who are taught that society will give them everything and they never have to learn to be good in ways that will make their relationships last. And this is not entirely the fault of the women. It's a faulty social signal, just like the faulty social signals that continue to tell black women they must have white women's noses to be beautiful, which we know is crap, and which came out on Oprah with a confused 12-year old female guest years ago, but still gets pushed by pop culture. If shorter guys who are great catches want to meet great women in record numbers, they need to get off the computer and off of dating sites and go to the community centres, social clubs, volunteer groups, civic gatherings, religious institutions, etc etc etc and meet them face to face and demonstrate by their great personalities that they're fun and cool to know, enough for a date anyway, and demonstrate by their lives that they can provide for and nurture and protect a future family every bit as much as a taller counterpart. This puts the finger on the animal instinct that is confused with taller height. Our society hands over higher moral values, and instantaneous leadership values to them because of it. But it is only hype. And smart women know this. So you know you can do it so get out there. Although I am 5'7" I have had a lot more wonderful women in my life than some of my male friends who fit the classic tall dark and handsome mold very well. If you are a shorter male and are reading this you should know that being a good person with a great personality, fit body and a healthy sex drive and the confidence to share that with someone can be enough. But you won't learn that by hanging around life-inexperienced schmucks, female and male, who don't know better. If you are a woman reading this and it's not news to you then I salute you and ask you to spread the word you have the gift to understand pop culture doesn't show us where all the treasures are. If you are a woman reading this and it IS news to you then I suggest you start taking inventory of what would make you happy and whether the way you hunt for men now really allows you the most chances to find that happiness. Oh and one more thing - let's not have any mistakes about the sex. I can't stand unconfident schmucks who've swallowed this message I've had 42 female sex partners, many of these were relationships, and I've been in hundreds of saunas and I know after that my package is as big as most and in many cases bigger although it's average length. Let's see, spa attendance every other weekend for a year, 20-50 males in attendance each visit, that's about 500-1000+ penises I've seen around me in a year. Anyone have more stats than that to compare? There are differences, but they're minor. We're all more or less the same. It's a minority of women who appreciate the deepest penetration you see from porn sites sporting jocks with elephantitis and a majority of the women who don't enjoy the feeling of constantly giving birth, and some of these women have complained of a feeling of lack of intimacy if enough penis sticks out and the pelvises can't move against each other. I've even heard on e woman describe it as a feeling of being poked at with a stick, instead of feeling of closer union. Not knocking tall guys across the board, and I'm all for everybody getting their kicks from every sexual proclivity, I'm just saying you don't hear the whole story from watching Star Channel weekly or some pop source. Men under 5'9", be confident, be bold, and show the qualities on which a family can be believed to be raised, and you'll be too busy socially to have time to check on your dating site account.

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Comment from ronny15
Hi, Scott, I'm glad I read your article on short man. And you hit it right on the nail. I'm 5'3" tall and I have run in this problem myself. And everything you have about short man is true about how woman judge us. I feel that its the kind of heart that a person has. I do agree that just like woman, man have there preference about woman because I do. But I was happy to read your article and I hope woman will read it also and not judge us anymore about our height. What they need to see is the kind of heart and attitude that man have. Thanks once again for the article. It has really made me think what you said.

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Comment from curious63a
Definitely I feel that women are 2 picky, there are great men out there and if there short.... 2 bad deal with it because love doesn't come the way you think it will sometimes

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Comment from writerofpoetry
I totally agree with Scott's comments! I am 5'8", not really short, but short when a woman is looking for someone who is 6' or more! Women unfairly judge short guys when they should get to know us before they condemn us! But my real problem on the dating sites is the income issue. Why do women put an income range they are seeking in their profile? That to me says that they are not seeking a match, they are seeking money. Come on girls! There are a ton of us nice guys out there who do not make $100,000, $75,000 or even $50,000 a year! Does that make us any less desirable? I don't think so! I don't make even $50,000 a year, but I guarantee I will treat a woman just as well or better than someone who does! Enough said about that!

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Comment from dondarts1
HI Scott, Great input, so many things you say about the short guy is so true!! (I am a short guy 5'5") I do agree about appearances. Keep clean and dress well. Not expensive, just neat. I have seen the tall, dark and handsome man make a fool out of himself with his filthy mouth and egoistical ways. The little guy with his smooth talk, gentlemanly manners snaked the girl right away from "pretty boy" you know what... I love it !! Sometimes us little get lucky ha ha.

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This article gets it exactly right. Women moan and whine about men who want thin girls, even though all they need to do is lose some weight. You can't change your height. And women typically say things like "I need a man who is taller than me wearing heels." Women want a man as a type of fashion accessories. But they sure hate to be "desired just for their bodies."

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Comment from damcat
bravo many good points there but what you seem to be missing is that even though we as humans do look for the pretty people first, and find out later how ugly they are inside it will end in a very ugly split as it happens every day. Shouldn’t we look for someone who will above all else love you for who you are tall or short? From what I seen here you my friend come off as a very ugly person saying that you should not have to be with a big girl, so why is it that a taller woman should look at a short guy. with that said I may be looking down the wrong path here but no matter how much you work out or how much or little you wear is going to change the fact that there is always going to be ugly, average, and pretty people who are short and tall, my friend it takes all kinds to make the world go round. I don't want to come off as dogging you I do know what you mean but seems to me that you are one of the people who you are sitting there talking about you are short get over it and go find the girl who will make you happy, and don't waste time on thinking of the ones who don't like shorties just like you don't like big girls!!!

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Interesting, but I want tell the writer, even you have met some not nice women, not all women like that, and also maybe they are not bad, the thing you need do is to check yourself, and again, appearance is not everything in a relationship. You need calm down, to learn to be a really smart and nice man!

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Funny you should mention the nice guy syndrome. They really don't like nice guys. Latest case in point, Sandra Bullock. She can have a lot of men, but look at who she chose. Another "bad boy". Nothing new here. Just one more example of hundreds that I have observed over time.

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Comment from frespirtbutrfly
Wow, what a deep person you are... and what a wonderful outlook you have on life and yourself. Thank you so very much for sharing with me and everyone else. Thanks!!!!!

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Comment from kai_2003_17
HI my names Sarah I am 5'7. I have no problem with shorter guys as long as they meet my expectations as a person not as in height. I have dated a few shorter guys and it didn't bother me at all! To me it's not about the height it's about the person inside. If people are so shallow to believe that height has something to do with attraction then there the one that's loosing out. Who cares? Well thought I would put my opinion in!

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Comment from beamin3033
First off I want to say that your article is a very articulate and well thought out essay. And you are not wrong in the fact that height is an issue in the dating game. However, I believe that you are putting way too much emphasis on it. You are making it sound as if height is the one and only factor that is keeping you from getting dates. And your arguments from your "web-dating" experiences are valid. But that does not hold true in real life. I personally am also in great shape, and I have the tall, dark and handsome look. I'm 6'5" and I'm a semi-pro basketball player. I'm smart as well, I am currently in school for pharmacy. I get no attention from women. Any women who do give me attention are fat chicks. The reason? Simply put, my game ain't tight. I don't have that player charm that works. My best friend is 5'6", he's dyslexic, and he doesn't have washboard abs or big muscle mass. In fact, he's kina on the porky side of things. The man gets so many women he can't even handle them all. The reason, his game is tight. He talks to them in such a way that their clothes just fall off their bodies. So from my experiences and from reading your article I believe I've pinpointed your problem. Your game ain't tight. You're blaming all of us tall guys for taking all the women, but in reality, its just you. So tighten up your game.

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How tall are you?

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Comment from Larry
I know most short guys are better looking than tall guys , and also have bigger privates, that's why most girls are staying away because, they know their in for and all night love making session, science most woman go both ways, girl or guy. Remember a short man is less intimating to a woman than a big man. So let that speak for itself.

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Hummm...it seems to me that you spent more time complaining about women's weight than a man's height. It does not matter to me about weight or height because it is the heart that matters. The qualities about a person's looks are shallow and superficial. What a person looks like does not make them who they are...we are able to be whom we chose to be and to that I say God Bless America!!!

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Comment from Nee
I read your comments Scott and a lot of what you said is very true. We as men and women are very picky when it comes to selecting a person to date in some instances and in other instances we settle for anything. I agree totally on one point that you made about a man that is in shape, goes to the gym on a regular basis, athletically fit, and looks basically like a model is going to normally is not going want a lady that is tremendously overweight unless he is attractive to women of that nature. To me, I see a difference between being big bone and then being overweight. I would date a woman who has a few extra lbs, but not too many extra lbs. I think also that women look at height sometimes in a sexual way. They think that every guy that is 6'1 or taller, looks like a tree, has big feet, long arms, or lanky has a big penis. That is not always the case. However, in the society that we live in the bigger and taller the better. In other words, we have got to be attracted to the inner person as well as the outer person. If not, we are subjected to run into shallow thinking as it relates to how to treat our date or other people in general.

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Comment from curvesgalore
Scott is short aright... short on brains and shallow in the heart.

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Comment from Elrond3
Maybe it's not your height at all. Maybe it's your personality.

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Comment from rightdave
We are all free to choose. If you are getting rejected because you are too short, it's because they want someone taller. It doesn't matter why. Some people don't like short, some don't like fat, some don't like poor, some don't like uneducated, some don't like religious, some don't like meat eaters. Too tall, too many kids, too far away, too thin, too materialistic, too dark, too white, not active enough, and too active; it's ok to be selective!

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Comment from Kelly
I appreciate your article and found it true and enlightening. I am guilty of "passing over" a man under 5'11" due to MY height 5'10. While I am not a fat woman I am still considered a "big woman" due to weight. I am muscular but not manly in appearance. I have a very hard time getting responses due to this. I do not fit in a "box". Nor do any of us. I thank you for your article and will do some serious rethinking on my aforementioned "preferences."

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Comment from txsfirefighter
Scott, Before I begin let me preface my experience in this area. My father is barely, 5'5" - a short man by most standards. My good friend in the Air Force was 5'4". My roommate is 5'2". I myself am not extremely tall at 5'9". But I can tell you that my mom was a beauty queen when he married her. My buddy in the Air Force could get pick up women easily. My roommate is dating a 5'7" blonde hottie. And until an untimely divorce, I was married to my university's homecoming queen. What do these guys (as well as myself) have in common? We were all gentlemen. While it might be true that women run over "nice guys", they also don't enjoy dating jerks. It sounds like you need to learn to be confident without appearing like an arrogant man with a chip on his shoulder. <~ a characteristic that is probably why you get the Napoleon comments. That is not to say that don't bring up some valid points - that weight for the most part is controllable - but then you taint those valid points with angst (I mean, have you actually dated any of these women that you feel are "beneath you?"). You complain that fewer than 10% of the women that view your profile actually correspond with you. First, out of all the women you view, how many do you correspond with? And I mean with a meaningful email, not a wink. Further more, if 100 view you, and say 9 correspond, and 1 or 2 want to date you, well.....THOSE ARE GOOD ODDS. Businesses all across the globe live on those odds (its called direct mail). Whether or not those dates go well and turn into more is up to you. And sometimes it just doesn't "click", but if you are a gentleman, other good things can come of that - I met my current girlfriend by way of a woman I met online. There was no chemistry between us, but she knew I would be great for her friend. By the way, I don't mean you have to be a "pansy". The is a huge difference between being a charming, sarcastic, slightly cocky gentleman, and being an overbearing, pompous, pain in the butt. Also, on the whole odds thing, is that there are a ton of factors in attraction. Just as we are all born with certain advantages and disadvantages: height, bone structure, beauty, handsomeness, metabolism, skin tone, intelligence.... and the list goes on, we all have different thoughts on what is attractive, and what we are looking for. I myself have looked at 1000's of profiles over the last 2 years. Some smoked, some lived too far away. Some were wall flowers, some were too aloof. My point is, you seem to assume that it is your height that keeps you from getting dates with these women, but it could be 100 other things in your profile that turn them off or don't fit what they are looking for. Grow up, and learn to deal with it. Learn to be content being single. It may take some time to find an ideal woman for you, but anything worth having doesn't come easy. Because once you do find her (or she finds you), the 1000 days you spent looking won't be nearly as important as the 10,000 days you'll want to spend with her making memories. Or you can be a short, single, bitter, old man. That's fine. That means more dates for the guys that actually deserve them, instead of those that think that it's what is owed to them. Comment from ayesha21
As a woman who does not really go for tall guys. I find this whole article a bit extreme. We women are as aware about what is suitable for our height, so being 5'2", I am not going to pick someone who is 6'3" unless there is something very special about the guy! I prefer my men around the 5'7" to 5'9" mark. They fit better! The most attractive thing about any man, for me anyway, is that he is happy in his own 'skin'. Not overcompensating, not underplaying. Just confident to be who and what he is. Scott comes across as a man who has his own grouse against the taller of his own sex! And against 'big' women! I make sure I take care of my body, but I have seen many women who are 'big' but very attractive. And the guys they see seem to think so too. So, its a case of one man's or woman's meat.....

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Comment from melly_21_18
I think this article is totally rude toward overweight women. There are tons of guys out there who are overweight as well and short. If guys are short, then they just need to find women who are their own height or shorter. Short guys cannot expect women who are taller to date them, just like I don't expect men who are athletic to date me because I'm overweight. There are plenty of people out there who like me fine for who I am, so I'm telling this writer to get over himself and quit complaining and trying to put others down. You will eventually find someone who is right for you, so stop insulting people who are overweight just because you have a problem being short.

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Comment from mel
Just an observation - I am an overweight woman who has battled her weight since childhood, and I have always been attracted to taller men. I know how shallow this attraction is. I also know where it comes from. In romance novels the hero is always towering over the heroine. I read a lot as an adolescent and that image of the towering hero is sexy to me. That's where the seed of attraction started. I believe the continuation is due to my own lack of self-esteem and self-consciousness about my weight. When in the presence of men of shorter stature, I usually feel like a bull in a china shop. In contrast, I feel more feminine and graceful accompanying taller men. I found the following statement in your diatribe a little ironic - "But there is an unspoken notion that a shorter man should be more willing to "accept" an overweight woman. Well… I say forget that! To be forthright, I am sporting 6-pack abs, a very toned body with good muscle mass, and somehow I should accept an overweight woman? I think NOT". I found it offensive that society believes you should be more willing to accept an overweight woman because of your lack of height. Bottom line is that if you are not attracted to someone - for whatever reason - you are not doing him or her any "favors" by "accepting" them. A relationship based upon deceit is doomed right from the start. In fact, as an overweight woman I would never subject myself to your toned body and 6-pack abs. My own inhibitions about my body would stand in the way. One more observation ­ I was married for over 20 years (widowed 2 years ago) to a man who was 10 inches taller than I. He often talked about “short man’s syndrome”. He recounted stories of being approached in bars and at sporting events on numerous occasions by shorter men who were looking to prove their “manhood” by challenging the biggest, tallest man they could find. I detect some of that anger in your writing. In fact your article is teeming with sarcasm and anger. Perhaps it’s not your lack of altitude that is turning the women off, but your negative attitude instead.

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Comment from klg610
I've got to admit, I dated a guy that is 5'4 and I am 5"3 for 10 years and believe me, on some subconscious level, I like tall (5'6-6') men much better. I think this only because as a little girl, my grandmother always told me to marry a tall man. This guy was my best friend for many years but when I date, I still look for the tall guy....even online dating forms I always fill in the height part and to tell the truth prefer it. I guess that is naive, but I guess if that's what a person wants, then he/she should go for it.

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Comment from blinky_14
Ever tried meeting a woman while sitting in a wheelchair?

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Comment from lasvegasknight
I am 6 feet 4 inches tall and have been an athlete all my adult life. In the 2 years I have tried various dating sites I have documented less than 50 views by various women and have never been on one single date as a result of a website. You have had many times more views than I so height is the least of your problems. May I suggest a "check up from the neck up"? If you expect a woman to react negatively to your height she probably will pick up on your feelings about that. Most major male movie actors are very short.(Tom Cruise, Sean Penn, Brad Pitt and others) Do you think they have problems attracting women? They have money and fame to be sure, but most importantly you never hear them talking about their shortcomings. Take a cue from these successful men and leave the negative feelings about yourself behind and simply be a fun, easy going date next time.

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Comment from angelo212
Great article. I agree with everything. I am 5'6 and a half. Most women I see on the sites are 5 foot to 5'3" and want someone 5'10" or better. Respectfully, Angelo

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Comment from alex
I am 5' tall also. It is a drag really. I agree with much of what you say. We have to be more than twice as good as any other guy and yet have a smaller chance. But the example of obesity in woman can illustrate. She can be great in many ways but if she is fat I don't want romance with her and I don't want to be seen with her either (outside a simple friendship). I can't blame women for their pick. they chose what they like the most. I guess we have no choice but to keep improving in all we can (or get a limb surgery which is extremely expensive). I try to see it as a positive challenge. We do get the change (or the job) to learn more about women than any other guy.

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Comment from Peter
Damn!!!!! So true! Right on. Being a short guy... I have never seen our side put into words so well.

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Comment from ART
Bravo for a fairly well written article on the bias of "taller is better" when it comes to men but the precise opposite, "shorter is better" is applied by tall men. As have you, I've done the same "research" regarding height on the single's sites. A "me" that's 5'10" received and average of 30 response a month. A "me" that was 5'8" received an average of 2 responses a month. A me that's "5'6" in ADDITION to a "me" that's 5'4" received a cumulative 0 responses. Your point regarding the height weight game women try to play was written a bit harshly, but again was on the money. Women tend to gain weight as they lose self esteem. Why do they lose self esteem? Because they're constantly treated poorly by the 6' or 5'10" man who walks all over them. Both Desmond Morris (of "the Naked Ape" fame), 20/20, Dateline, and Primetime Live have ALL done studies on women and just important height was. I won't get into their entire pieces, but the basic consensus was 5'6" man would have to be a multi millionaire AND in perfect condition, with extremely inflated intellect to be considered more attractive than (get this) a 6' tall, dark hair, dark eyed, murderer and child molester. For those who don't believe it, refer to 20/20. I called ABC and the transcripts are still available. Now, something you did miss is the "supposed" definition of Napoleon's Syndrome. It's attributed to men who try to overcome their height by being overly aggressive. Personally I'm only 5'8" but regularly date good looking and the occasional stunning looking women, many of which are taller than I. The difference? I am told I simply team with confidence, don't beg, don't wine and act like I'm on top of the world, regardless of the time of day. The smile and confidence are the bait, my intellect is the hook. I had my first masters by 20 years old. My biggest problem is I intimidate the heck out of women. I don't know HOW to be stupid. I can't ACT dumb, and therefore I simply can't suffer fools easily, so I have a double whammy. Not only must a woman be attractive to me, she must also be able to hold her own in a discussion with me (no small feat), and has to get over the fact they are going to be proven wrong in 95-99% of all factual arguments we have. Some women love this. Some women hate it. Personally I don't care. The last statement I'd like to make is rehashing the weight issue. If women only knew what men would go through in the gym to gain those precious 2"-6" to get them in the playing field (20/20, Desmond Morris, and Dateline ALL came up with the same height, 5'10" as the proverbial "cut off" height as to how SHORT a man they will date. Don't women understand I would work 40 hours in the gym every week for the rest of my life to be 5'10. Unfortunately , it's not going to happen. If you ask the fat woman if she's willing to take on another full time job just to lose weight, they quickly say no. Hence, a man's desire to gain those extra few inches in height is de facto greater than a woman's desire to lose weight. If a man is under 5'10" he is AUTOMATICALLY considered undateable by a full 40% of women. This experiment has been repeated several times with the same outcome. Women for some reason think men under 5'8" are missing a part of our brain or something when the truth is, the women aren't using their brains. When, at 5'8" I was rejected by a 5' tall woman because I was "too short" for her no matter how much she loved me "as a friend" (by the way women, if you want to make a man hate you, that's the phrase to use. Tell him you love him like a friend and if he was ever at all important as a friend to you and was attracted to you, you will lose both with that simple epithet. To sum it up, there is no question the last acceptable prejudice is against short men. There are fewer Fortune 500 male CEO's than there are black CEO's, female CEO's, Asian CEO's, and even gay CEO's than there are Fortune 500 CEOs under 5'10". The men who ARE under 5'10" and are CEO's of their company, almost without fail, started their own company. Short men aren't just picked on, laughed at in commercials (as we are all reminded about a recent commercial where a woman thinks her man is demeaned because he brought a dinner date taller than himself to a meeting with his ex. She laughed at him as if HE should be embarrassed. The truth is, SHE should be embarrassed. After all, if a tall beautiful woman was sitting next to him and showing him love, HE won and YOU lost, not the other way around. Unfortunately I disagree with you regarding instinct. I believe there is a sense of instinct or at LEAST a portion of society which tends to shun couples consisting of a taller woman and a shorter man. Even Oprah Winfrey got on a show and admitted to the crowd she stopped dating a man because he wore a Medium sized sweater. Yes, it's come this far. How have I handled it? The same way I always have. I'll approach a woman and strike up a conversation with her no matter what her height and if I'm attracted to her personality and she's in shape (because as you do, I spend house a week working to stay in shape. I'm 5'8" 150 and when I see a woman 5'2, 160 writing me, I ask myself, quite literally, what in the world is she thinking?)). If there's chemistry, normally she will date me regardless of height. Yes, my intellect and confidence help (especially the confidence part), but I'm also not ugly, though nor am I stunning. The only NEGATIVE complaint about your letter that I have is the obsession with Napoleon's syndrome. I'm extremely confident bordering on cocky. I'm so intellectual I generally end up explaining at least a word per paragraph (as I slowly discard her number into the garbage can), but there are a select few women out there who, as Paul McCartney put it, " will help me song, will write me when I'm wrong" and it takes and incredibly strong woman to stand up to me, especially when she's been factually bowled over time after time in discussions between us, but she still tries. THAT'S a confident women. THAT'S a woman I want to raise my children. THAT'S the kind of woman I want to be with. I intimidate most of the women I date (seriously, I do), and it's almost as if I can taste it or smell it. More than likely it's a combination of pheromones and micro expressions but hey, I don't want to marry someone I can't talk to as an equal, so out they go. I'm aggressive and a definite "A" personality, but have never once been claimed of having NS. Why? Because I rarely, if ever raise my voice. NS, BTW, is not recognized in the DSM-IV as a legitimate illness. It's a holdover name equivalent to calling someone a psychopath or sociopath when the official term is now Anti Social Personality Disorder. If you really do care about someone who's trying to help, do the following. A) ALWAYS dress to the "T", and that means almost NEVER wear a tie (unless required) and weather permitting, always wear a sport coat which can be removed and carried easily. Clothes are something women notice immediately because they themselves are obsessed with clothes. So if you don't already dress this way, start--and again, stay away from the mobster look. It's unflattering and always has been. Dress for the season. Don't go wearing your pastels in the middle of winter. Don't wear your fall clothes in the summer (check into men's clothing magazines to know what's what, or do what I did-- Date a woman who knows fashion and ask for her help in picking you out a few mix and match suits, and remember, NO TIES!) Most of all, learn that life is about a journey and literally laugh at any woman who turns you down in a way which makes he think YOU think she's a lesbian. If she's a lesbian, she won't care. If she's not, she'll wonder what she just missed (and if you're with friends, immediately have them laugh when you arrive and then yell within her earshot--"How was *I* supposed to know she was gay?"). You'll never win that date with her, but you won't lose the least bit of pride in being rejected. She, on the other hand, will wonder from then until eternity just what she missed when she said no to you. I've even had women come out of their store, or their workplace to try to convince me she's not gay. When I've replied "look, I just asked you to eat lunch, not get married, so I figured if you didn't want to be seen with a well dressed intelligent, confident man, you had to be, well, you know...." If she dares mention your height, go RIGHT back into the gay routine. Put her in the position of either a) going to lunch with you or b) leaving realizing you believe she's gay. It doesn't always work, but I have scored dates and even dated 2 women I met that very way long term (over a year). Very simply, if you're looking to date someone on the Internet and you're 5'6" or below, forget it. If you feel you simply MUST date online, find a nice soviet wife. The American male married to a former Soviet woman divorce rate hovers between 5 and 10%--far lower than even the THIRD marriage between two Americans. Soviet women concentrate on family and aside from an initial language behavior, in about 3 months, she'll speak well enough to hold a job, and you'll score a woman looking 10 times better than woman you'd find in the USA, and to boot, they'll be 10-20 years younger than you, and will treat you like a king, but only if treated that way in return. Not surprisingly, they don't care about your height. It's not a factor in Russia, OR England, OR Germany, OR Italy, OR France, OR the Ukrainer, OR Japan and I could go on. The only women who care about height that much are American women. They've grown into a selfish breed and in international circles is considered the worst of all wives to marry. In contrast, American men are the most desirable men by women worldwide. Sources are the from studies done by the Sociology department of UC Berkeley and of U. of Delaware in separate double blind studies. Talk to some of the men who've married soviet women and I think you'll start to understand, as I did--there's nothing wrong with us as American men. American women, on the other hand have been spoiled by us so long, they fawn all over movie stars like Tom Cruise (5'6"), Brad Pitt (5.9"), Mel Gibson (5'8"), Sylvester Stallone (5'5") etc... without considering height. Confidence wind out over height most of the time in the U.S., and if doesn't, more and more American women will end up single with 2 kids and tall, dark, and handsome dead beat dad. Guys like myself will end up with a 5'7 23 year old surgeon from Russia or the Ukraine. It'll take awhile for the American women to understand we won't put up with their height bias garbage, but it won't be in my lifetime. That won't stop me from finding a smart, confident, intellectual, beautiful wife. If you want to try a fun experiment, tell a female friend you're looking to meet and marry a soviet wife, who is beautiful, smart, funny, and educated and the American woman's venom will come spitting out. Why? They don't want to lose their place in the pecking order, but as long as the 5' tall women are constantly dating 6'2" men, I'll just go elsewhere and find a wife--one who puts her emphasis on making the man happy, just as American men have been taught to make their wives happy. I know this seems off course but it isn't really. It's meant to point out that American women are honestly the ONLY women whose first and main judgment of a man is his height. We live in a world where women and men can go anywhere. Eventually "born in America" women will have to kick their desire for a tall man because the world has become too small and short men AND tall men will prefer a foreign wife to an American wife. The divorce rates, as I've stated (and wish I could give you the source off hand) are far lower when it comes to foreign women. Why in the heck would I want an American woman? I'll leave the prejudice brats to reject nice guys when they're in their twenties and when their looks start to disappear in their thirties, I've started ignoring them and talking over the phone with soviet women. It's estimated there are 10 single soviet women who want an American husband for every American single man. Can you understand why they really don't care about height? Anyway, thanks for sounding off for the short guys like us, and American women, you better start dumping that habit of loving the bad boy because the really GOOD guys who may not be 5'10" or taller won't be single after you've discovered tall men don't a good husband make, and the short guy will already realize you won't give him the time of day so he's already married a beautiful, young foreign wife. Then, women, you will have only yourself to blame. BTW, I'm getting married in 10 months to a Russian woman from St. Petersburg with whom I've been exchanging letters and phone calls for almost 2 years now. I've met her three times and spent three full months with her. She's 16 years my junior (I'm 39) and has a license to practice medicine , is 5'6" and 110 lbs. She's likely, of perhaps 300 women with whom I've had at least one date, amongst the top 5 best looking women I've ever dated. More amazingly, she wants to make ME happy and that's her MAIN goal--and just like an American man, my main goal is to make her happy. That's my guess as to the difference in divorce rates. So American women can honestly stuff it if they think I'm too short. There are thousands of women worldwide, with more appreciation for a relationship based on equality than American women could understand in today’s world. But, as I said, don't worry. The day is coming when American men will look at the American woman as the worst choice, just like the rest of the world does.

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Comment from rockman40
I do have to agree that women, even short women (5'-5'5") would rather be with a 6'+ man. All I have to say is women you are missing out on a chance to be happy.

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Comment from realspirit
Not a bad article! At 5'4", I have experienced a lot of the same stuff he has. I too am in great shape, own my own successful business and am very active in a lot of sports. What I have found is that women overlook the size issue very quickly when they see what's inside the person if they see what they are looking for. However, the looks are the first contact and that's what the woman judges by initially. Confidence is important, but so is caring and sensitivity. Some goon on an ego trip will strike out instantly. A good listener, not a fixer is important. A strong smile, intelligence and a positive attitude will round it off nicely. Now share equally and set healthy boundaries for your self and respect hers. That should get you off to a comfortable start....and remember.....you are not in high school, you are experienced adults. Act like it.

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Comment from kristi
How old are you? I am 42 and had been married for 20 years until 2 years ago. My ex-husband was not short and still wouldn't settle for the fat girl I became; he wanted me to stay the same person: young and silly, fawning over him only, size 5. Although this fat girl is into size it has nothing to do with height. I don't think that your problem, or any really decent guy's problem with dating - whether good looking or not; 6 pak abs, nice ass - has a thing to do with height. I think your problem is YOUR problem with your height. Just like my problem is with my weight. Sure I can change it, but I'm never going to look like I did before 2 kids and peri-menopause. If I can accept that I need to be healthy - better diet, exercise - above being date-worthy, then I think that I can be a more happy and confident person, which I have found attracts more people than a pretty face and chiseled mid-section. When a person looks to others to build their confidence...kind of a contradiction isn't it? Confidence starts at home. Our primal instincts still kick in on the sexual level, but think it takes a mature man to get beyond the need to spread his seed with the best of the tribe, or the woman who doesn't feel the need to seek out the strong alpha male of the group. That is so in our 20's, isn't it? Hence my question about your age. I have dated short men. Most women don't care about physical stature; it's how tall you are inside. Good luck with your search, there are nice people out there.

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Comment from dilbert
All short men should kill themselves on the same day. Perhaps then the next short guys (6 footers) will do the same, etc. then one day all men will be the same height and all the women in the world will be content...except the fat ones

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Hello Scott, I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to extend you my thoughts on your article about 'shot men'. You made some good points regarding 'life make overs' - - working on yourself from the inside out. I completely agree with you. However.... 'nice guys' do not always come in last. For example, I usually do not have any problems finding a date. I a not trying to make myself seem 'above all', but I just want to be frank here so I am able to get my point across. Having men attracted to me is just one area of my life that I have never struggled with. Men gawk at me all the time, and even women are always commenting on how beautiful they think I am. While I appreciate these comments, I don't live upon them because I believe to each their own. While these people find me attractive, there are people out there that I am sure do not. That's just the way life goes. However, I am somewhat picky about who I date from now on because of some situations that I have experience in my past. Which I think I have that right, as I believe EVERYONE does: short, tall, fat, thin, handicapped, whomever! No one should settle for less than what they expect for themselves. So, finally I just met this guy that I really like. After observing him for a few months (I have known who he is for a little while), I am only to find that he is THE NICEST GUY that I have ever met. He is very attractive, but I have never had someone treat me so nicely and other people so nicely. Now, THAT is the type of man that can sweep me off my feet. To be honest, he is just at average height, but typically I do like my men TALL. Though, none of that matters to me in the long run. I don't care how tall he is, I like him for who he is. I believe that is the same for a lot of people out there. I think people get the term 'nice guy' is getting confused with 'desperate guy'. I meet some guys who just act like they are ready to throw in all they own because they want to date me. No thank you. I want an equal, not a slave or a pushover. Now, to address your issues.... I mean, I don't know why you are not dating someone. I am religious, so I believe that God has a plan for all of us. However, I don't know what you look like, what your personality is like, or how you come across to people. Though, if I looked at your picture and saw your height listed.... maybe I would pass it on. That's just what you get with Internet dating sometimes - - it's a pick and choose process. Though, if I met you in person maybe it would be a different story. The only shortcomings (excuse the pun!) that I think befall you might be your cynicism. Even if there was no height listed, if this is how your profile comes across to people, I would think 'gee, I don't think he is someone that I would want to date'. You sound quite harsh and judgmental. Maybe you are not like that, but that is just what I perceive from the article. So, maybe you should try to change your outlook on life and let your real self shine through. Also, from reading your article, it does sound like you have a lot going for you, both physically and intellectually. So, instead of blaming your height - maybe you need a life make over and look at yourself from the inside out. Please do not take offense at these comments.... I do not want to come across that way. I just want to encourage you to take the focus off of everything superficial and that will allow both you & some lucky woman to see all that you really are inside - - and let the physical be a bonus! So good luck to you in your search and do not give up! Stay on the right track and you'll find that the best is yet to come!

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Comment from passiongirl
I don't mind short men its what's inside that counts ,why has everyone gotten so "high on their I'm better than that and I can have the best looking man or woman I can possibly find" moral high ground ? I just don't get people ant more? What ever happened to looking deep inside a person and getting to know them instead of meeting them for a very short lunch or dinner date that lasts about 40 minutes and never speaking again? What is that? How can you possibly know anything about a person in that short of time? You can't!!! So I say short tall it doesn't matter look inside there's where you'll find the real person!!!

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Comment from markmac02
I agree for the most part about what you are saying. Unfortunately, nice guys who know how to treat a lady right often either get overlooked or walked upon. The ladies say one thing, but when it comes down to it, most often they want the GQ atlas types who lie and cheat on them. When you ask women what they like in a man, most will give you the "he has to have a good sense of humor and make me laugh" and also, "he must have a nice butt". Is this REALLY ALL they are looking for in a man? Sounds very shallow and I question the validity of it. Just my thoughts.

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Comment from megee01
What an ass! Obviously, you are the one who considers yourself handicapped. GET A GRIP and figure out what your real problem is!!! Quit blaming it on your stature.

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MEN also use 'nice' women - you left that part out. And, yes, some women do prefer taller men and I am one of them - I'm 5'11" and I'm not comfortable with someone that I have to look down at. And, I don't think that a lot of men are comfortable with that. In fact, I KNOW they're not - they're intimidated by my height. Also, it's reversed for tall women - tall men prefer SHORT women. So, if somehow we could get the short women with the short men and the tall women with the tall men - we'd be happy, wouldn't we? Oh well, that's life!

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Your writing is a genuine thrill. Too often, I feel guys, in our attempt to be respectful and considerate, simply don't tell it like it is. You call a spade a spade here and the candor is very refreshing. As a point of reference, I too consider myself certainly good enough "good looking". And I'm also 6' 4" tall. Yet most of what you wrote, I agree with whole heartedly. Personally, I don't think your height it the issue of why you get 10% of the ladies writing. I think it's because 90% of the woman out there are basically chicken and somehow feel entitled to wait around for men to make the first approach and then shoot them down if they don't measure up (bad pun!) in whatever their screwy criteria of choice is at that moment. Personally, I find that the richest grounds for woman are writing the ladies that DON'T publish their picture. It certainly takes a bit of faith and extra work to cull through the 300 pounders, yet I've found some absolute genuine babes out their that simply don't want the traffic associated with emails that are just chasing good looks. On top of that, the ladies that don't publish their pictures seem to me to have a whole lot more in the intelligence department since they know they can compete with the written word. THEN when you find that they are a babe in addition, WOWZA! Bottom line, this virtual form of hunting for a date, lover or soul mate certainly presents some interesting angle. And I've just come to the conclusion that the ladies without pictures are an untapped market where the competition is substantially reduced and the target opportunities are plentiful! Good Luck!

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Comment from Marlaoxox
I am a petite woman, standing only 5 feet tall and weighing only approx. 106 lbs. It is unfortunate that we judge people by appearances, yes. I have had the pleasure of dating handsome men not-so-handsome men tall- 6'4" and short men 5'6" Some have had lots of hair and others very little Some have had extra weight around the middle and some have had a 6 pack. Do you ask me what I think? I think it is important to feel attracted to the person to take the date to any other level but those who you may not be attracted to instantly are sometimes the kind that dreams are made of. Here are the men who will treat you well and always make you feel special. They can be very passionate lovers and your friends and family will usually like them. For me, too much age difference is a line I won't cross. I love it when our childhood and teenage years are similar!

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Comment from ddgkurt
I agree totally with your view I am not an unattractive man or so I'm told but I am a nice guy and when I try to be a (NICE GUY) women blow me off to quick. but when I so a little attitude I seam to be more attractive go figure.

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Comment from Rutharriet
Since I am also short, I prefer men to be only 5 or 6 inches taller than me. I do not like to dance with a gentlemen that is tall for it is hard to keep in step as he takes longer steps than a short man.

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Comment from Al [another nice guy]
Bravo Scott, I've encountered much of the same, standing at 5'4",muscular,ambitious,intelligent, witty sense of humor, home paid off at 37 yrs. old, work daily, high family values, honest, sincere, been told I'm nice looking. You would think this would be attractive to the general female population. Been told by one of the female profile advisers, "most women are less concerned with what a guy looks like or how tall he is than if he is caring, open, trustworthy" I'd say she was a little misguided from my experiences with on line dating and dating in general. Seems if your not 5'8" or above you don't fit the social standard even for girls that are 5'2". What is wrong with this picture? Oh, lets say you are good enough to help with less desirable things like helping to move, painting, repair a broken pipe, any type of choir, of course your a really "nice guy" by being there. Again, admirable qualities. Again, what's wrong with this picture? So, if the profiles adviser is correct, then my and your short tails are really just a figment!!! Yea right!!!! Your observations are right on target, Scott!!

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Comment from leather01
I do think individuals that are younger tend to look at the superficial and as one that has had the chance to become educated lived with the ideal partner that was not so ideal we look for compatibility intelligence and positive attributes rather than being short or tall... If a person hasn't done that and been there and does not see the light they will be hazardous for the long term as they are not worthwhile to begin with. Most are looking for a fling or a meal ticket...

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Comment from amorrouge01
A friend of mine and I were discussing the topic of "short men" the other day. We both agreed without question. Short men are not our forte and we are not apt to date men under 5'9, but we also agreed that we are open to them. I know. It resembles a catch 22. How can you fall in love with a short man if you won't date him. Well, I said we were not apt to date them not totally apposed. They have a slim chance. Nevertheless, a chance. So, I am in agreement with your reasoning that short men do need something to stand out. Many women have expressed their taste in men and they usually favor men of the average height or taller. As for the comparisons. I need feedback. So, I wish I could talk to you about them. We would have a great conversation. By the way. My friend is 5'4”. What can I say?

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Comment from Another Short Guy
Did he have a point? Next time Scott writes a "rant" he should come up with a thesis, support it, and stick to it. This seemed to be a diatribe against overweight women as much as a complaint that short guys have it rough. Any advice for the short guy? No. A waste of time.

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Comment from Nancy
Hey Scott, Just read your article, and I wanted to say to all the short men out there.....I'm a short, thin women and I've been looking for a short, attractive man , so don't give up....and as far as the napoleon complex, I for one don't mind a little self promotion, but don't come across as full of yourself. One last comment, on your last paragraph... Men aren't the only ones used as doormats... I know from experience. All and all, good article.

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Comment from psychickoala
Do you find it at all hypocritical that you are simultaneously dismissing every argument against yourself while at the same time giving the green light for people to discriminate based on the areas you are confident in? Not to mention the fact that you say there is no social motivation to discriminate based on a person's inner qualities, then pass off the workplace as a place where discrimination should be made on those same qualities because "that's just different." Image plays a part, obviously, everywhere, but damn, dude, get over yourself, especially all of this I'm-so-lucky-to-be-hot-sounding bullshit. You sound like that girl at a club in a tank-top with way too much mascara who keeps saying 'men are pigs, I know I'm hot!' over and over again. The game is all about confidence and wearing your skills comfortably. Even an enormous geek can get a date as long as the woman instinctively knows she's getting a good deal. Not to mention that as a shorty, you are still obviously expecting a six-foot leggy blonde, despite the fact that you say fat women should make allowances. Have fun finding the girl the television tells you to want.

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Comment from sweet_sassy51
Scott- Hats off to you. You have not shown up on my matches probably because of the age difference. I'm 5'4" which is short for most women, but that's not ever a mentioned problem. In fact usually my interest is completely ignored which I think is totally cowardice, despite their height. I must admit though in searching for a partner I tend to be more attracted to the taller man because it makes ME feel more petite. Sure I could lose a few pounds, and that is constantly in my plan and I am not totally happy with the way I look, but as you suggested I AM DOING something about it. I haven't even looked at your profile, but just from your picture and what you wrote, I would have no problem because you can feel your passion. And that's a good thing. Best of luck to you.

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I would want to encourage you that there are intelligent blonde women out there, that observe the "whole package". It is a fact that short is short and tall is tall, I personally do not hold it against a person as it is beyond their control. It actually has been the other way around, Short men have at times had a problem with me being taller, and asked me to adjust the shoes I wear! I am 5'6" of average weight/ height. This issue is one of a person's background, preference and ability to be open-minded and accepting of others. The stereotypical comments about ones "God given" physical attributes is what is a turn off. If I perceive that an individual has a problem with their ability to be happy in their own body, then I am inclined to stay away. I have a difficult time with people who pre-judge, I also have a difficult time with those who feel victimized or inadequate because of who they happen to be. Get over the issues and look for what it is you want, there is someone for everyone. Wouldn't it be boring if we all had the same attributes? Enjoy life as you are, ask a women how they feel about your height? Communicate, don't compensate!

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Comment from lovingplc
I don't think that you are undateable. I was married to a man that was shorter then me for 7 years. When I meant him his height was not what I looked at. It never even crossed my mine, so what he was shorter then other men. He made up for that in other qualities. I think it is really wrong that people, judge a book by the cover. I feel it does not matter how tall a person is or how over weight they are. It's the person inside that matters. Thanks for sharing how you feel.

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Comment from jala
This irks me, because its not all about appearances and judgment based on said appearance is not only shallow, but also small-minded. Both weight and height has little effect over the quality of person. I find the majority of your article to be rather offensive, quite honestly.

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Comment from timo_42
Bet you have a big truck. LOL

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Comment from canman03
Loved this article, made me laugh many times.

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Comment from singlewoman
I agree height cannot be changed but weight can be changed. The fact remains you think it should be more realistic for big women not to expect attractive men to consider dating them but attractive women should consider dating you regardless of your height or they are labeled "superficial". It still sounds hypocritical to me. If a woman wants to be with a man of a certain height there can be no judgment from a man who wants a woman of a certain weight. It may not be a matter of only appearances but if a woman will really not be happy with a man shorter than a certain height, that is not something she can continually ignore if she can't see past it, superficial or not. Also, a woman can be as picky as she wants to be concerning who she dates whether online or offline. If she does not get desired results, then she can decide if she wants to widen her potential dating pool. If not, she can choose to persevere. Obviously, we would all like being in a relationship, but that does not mean someone should lower standards in order to be in one. When someone is willing to date someone outside of what they would usually want for some reason, it should be a well thought out decision not made out of desperation for a date.

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Dang, it sucks to be a short, overweight woman.

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Comment from Mrmike01
That was a well written article. If women choose not to date somebody because of their height, that is completely their choice. I won't date any girl that is remotely fat or a girl with a high PFF. (Potential Fat Factor). If a girl looks like she might struggle with weight issues but "currently" isn't fat, that's as far as we go. Is it wrong and sickening....absolutely, but it's my choice baby. It's important to note that I, like many others, have probably missed out on some terrific people due to my shallow and judgmental behavior. In a perfect world, we might all take greater chances on some people that we don't immediately find perfect. However, who has time for that?

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Comment from sweet5red
well I'm not looking for tall, dark and handsome... matter of fact, I am more attracted to short stocky and cute or country. As long as he's funny, has sense of humor, knows how to look in a ladies heart and see what's there. Loves country music and the outdoors... (has his teeth) hair is optional. knows how to smile and treat a lady with respect and not play games , I'm not fat I am average build. 5 ft. and redhead with green eyes so I am not looking for perfect because none of us are perfect.

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There is nothing wrong with dating someone shorter than one self I know that I would and have in the past.

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Comment from sandstrezz37
Just by reading your article I would say its not your height that is the issue, but your whole negative attitude. Woman as a whole are more accepting of men's shortcomings then they are of ours. So you can't get dates with the Christie Brinkleys of the world.....is that what is your biggest concern? You are right most men pass over women on dating sites that don't have a drop dead, gorgeous body. There are always a few men that this is not an issue for. By now you may of guessed I'm not a size 3, nor do I wish to be, if it means starving myself to achieve this goal then no thanks. I'm your average woman physically, many men have looked at my profile by my picture, because I have a beautiful face, and I say this because I have been told us much, but like you my interests are less then 10%. Why? Because I don't have that super model body. I am so tired of men at these sites saying they can't find any good woman, and then go on to describe every attribute that I possess, so I say to them, as I say to you. When you learn to discover the whole person, inside and out is when you will find true happiness. Oh and by the way....I date men of all races, financial status, height (both short and tall), weight (average, skinny, heavyset), and finally men with disabilities....my new boyfriend does walk with a limp and by the way is foreign...and is the sweetest, most caring man I have ever met. Stop judging books by the cover and get to know someone a little less perfect, and then maybe you will find what you are looking for. Pretty people, both men and women, are just that.....they think they can get by on their looks alone, so their personality usually, not always, leaves a lot to be desired. But if that is what you want, I am here to tell you, that you will always be too short, and undatable for those women....as I will always be "too fat" for those men. Oh and by the way I am taller than 5'1" and weigh less than 200 lbs.

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Comment from yukongold99
I think it is very sad that women or any one judge a person by their height. If a short mad likes a tall lady I think he should make the first move. let the lady know. I know most , but not all ladies, want tall men . Of course I am speaking for myself. I can't speak for all women, I know what some of them say but I think they are superficial. No one wants superficial. For my self it would not make any difference. I say do not be discouraged. I know you have to over compensate and it is hard, but believe, there are some that go by character and the goodness of a person. Not height.

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Comment from starz
All I can say is that size doesn't matter to me in most areas that is, I have dated men a lil shorter than me and way taller, it is who the person is that attracts me, and as far as size well it isn't the tool its how it is used.

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Me thinks the short man doth protest too much.....

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Comment from scoie1956
Well I think the short issue has a lot to do with it but also I think that there are woman out there that put a huge issue on if you are a white collar or blue collar worker. Which is funny because most of them don't make that much so does that mean they just want to be supported? I know they don't want a bum and have to support him either. You can make enough money and not wear a white shirt. So if we short guys fall into both of these groups we are really in for a hard time dating.

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Comment from harmony2005
My comments are as follows. Firstly, I think your writing confirms that you are bitter about many things... maybe counseling would help resolve some of your issues. Secondly, my impression of you is that you are very shallow and obviously did not exceed in English as you have difficulty remaining on topic with this particular piece. In conclusion, most women don't care about height but they rather want a man with personality and character... something that is rarely found these days.

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Oh God! Height is not a problem at all! You are stupid and self-centered. These are much more serious issues.

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Comment from Karen
Wow, I can't believe I read this whole thing. I think it was kind of like that certain brand of potato chip of which you can't just eat one - the reason being because you keep looking for either one that tastes good or the end of the bag. In this case, it was the end and the point. Yes, short men get the short shrift. If I might just dole out a bit of unsolicited advice to Scott. Relax. Quit trying so hard. Your self-stated attributes should be noticed and you would be much more attractive were you a bit less tense. How do I know this? I have been described as "intense". Although I am not short by women's standards (5'5) I am not so very stupid that I am not aware of the physical traits of a man. I really can tell the difference immediately. I generally choose to ignore those unless they open their mouths and garbage comes tumbling out. Am I fat? No. I might possibly be able to lift you. Now if that doesn't sound like fun to you then I would hazard a guess that you really do want to be tall and dominant. I wouldn't really know though. Haven't seen you and have only read your complaint. Hang in there though. Maybe a very tall 23 year old with half her brain sucked out will approach you and you will be in heaven. Maybe not. Maybe you just might be looking for signs of intelligent life on earth. I hope so. Here's to you.

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Comment from SDRascal
I like the fact that someone finally has the stones to tell it like it is. I'm only 5'5", and so I do have to accept the bitter pill that I am not, and will never be a tall man. Tall, dark, and handsome will never be my description by the "fairer sex". I will admit however that I do take a look at some of these ads that women write and wonder what they're thinking. For instance....a 5'2 woman saying that she will not date a man shorter than 5'10. WHY? You'd think the geometry of a kiss alone would be reason to not hold this particular standard! Double standard? You BET. A short man is definitely at a disadvantage. Thanks for stating it in plain facts.

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Comment from Jaggg
Thanks for the article. I am 5ft 5in. Tall when in high school I was an all-state running back and all state hockey player. I went on to college and played four years of hockey. Like I say you do with what you have and go with it. Attitude in everything is a positive... Thanks again.

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Comment from albroth
As a man who is 78, I fully agree with much of the above. So I'm 5'4" so what? What about my excellent fitness and health, intelligence (very high), my reasonably good looks, that fact that I am always mistaken for 10 years younger than my calendar age, etc.

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Comment from ngelic_one
Scott, you sound pretty bitter. Women have dealt with this forever. You have to be 95 lbs, 5'10", gorgeous, blonde, sex goddess or the men snub their nose; you won't get that modeling job, acting job, flight attendant job... the old, fat, balding guys think that the Victoria Secret model will want to date them. The bad news for you is that you are so critical that even the slightest variation from what yo