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Home > Feature Articles > Article > Readers Respond |
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 READERS RESPOND |
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Hooking Up vs. Lasting Love It's Your Choice
Comment from Marty_Q
This was a great article that really helped me define how I feel about encounters/dating and what I am really looking for.
Comment from dakota6girl
very thought provoking. Thanks. Date.com has the best articles of the on-line sources I read.
Comment from eichlen
great article however if you believe that bad things happen to good people then I fit the description. After my marriage of 23 years and raising two wonderful daughters my now ex during our separation challenged me to seek another woman. I did and contracted herpes, now it seems my chance of finding long term mutual love is over. lost at 52.. please advise
Comment from hynoon2
I found this article to be interesting and eye opening. It allowed me to take a quick inner test...And it leaves unanswered questions. I'll think on this article for some time, till I find my own answers.
Comment from shelby
I think that is true but a lot of people don't think like that. I would like to have someone that is true. Someone know what she want out of life.
Comment from luulips
This was a great article to help a person get in touch with what they really want out of a relationship. Doing the suggested steps are a great way to get a clear picture of what a person wants for themselves.
Comment from Sus
This article has my name written all over it. I have been in all three situations. My current situation is that I was in a relationship for 3 1/2 yrs. and have children with this person. He passed away a little over a yr. now. I have gone into this new life of mine trying not to get hurt. I thought if I could only do what guys do and the way they act when it comes to woman that I could do the same thing when it comes to men. Basically meet a guy that I could just sleep with or meet a guy, become friends and be able to hang out and sleep together. It seemed easy at first, but now Im not so sure that's true. Sometimes I really dont want a relationship and other times I think I do. Im very confused. I've always been in a relationship and have never been scared to be in one and now I think I have problems with being with one person. For instance when I meet a guy that I like I hope he feels the same way to and when I find out he does then I get turned off. What does this mean?
Comment from candycancook
Recent articles at this site have been outstanding. I just recently heard the term "friends with benefits". I must admit there have been times when I have engaged in sexual behavior with someone I knew or suspected was not my match. I make no moral judgment upon myself or others. There are times when being held and sharing physical love with another satisfies a need and a want. Is it what I really want from a relationship? No. Not in the long run. The article seemed to view such behavior in a negative way. I don't. The only danger I see, is if one settles for "detached" sex, if you will, when what you want is physical intimacy in the confines of a long term relationship. I want the later . I move on after such encounters: as" hooking up." I am 57 and grateful when any amount / kind of love drifts in to my life.
Comment from 80smetal
Oh how I wish I could separate sex from feelings. I am one of those guys that gets feelings for someone after sex. Go ahead and laugh ladies I cant help it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get around that maybe. I'm not really attached during the dating period. She can stay or leave but once the sex starts its a straight ride to wimp heaven for me. I hate being like that. But a month ago I had a one nighter with a girl I would say was a 7 or 8.But since she wasn't my type I had no feelings afterward at all. Go figure...
Comment from Wldflower
This article is true. So many people are afraid of closeness and feelings of intimacy. Passionate breezes are very romantic and loving.
Goodness times have really changed, had no idea there were terms like this - Very informative article, now I know what I am not looking for.
Comment from Sad Eyes/Sleepless in portland
I agree 100% with you writing. I guess a person has to look inside themselves and if you want something bad enough, like a love you lost or just what the heck to do if your in a life changing moment you've got to step to the plate, because no ones gonna do it for ya. Its really difficult not knowing what's inside someone's heart, but I feel deep down if its meant to be then one or the other parties involved has to swallow there pride and at least take care of themselves and make some sort of a effort to show the other person that they are still cared for a loved, no matter what happened in the past. NO-ONES PERFECT, and a relationship is definitely not one sided(at least a healthy one) give and take, unconditional love, respect, forgiveness, communication = #1,and faith in a higher power, TRUST I think are the makings or a good start anyways to a long and loving, prosperous relationship...If drugs or alcohol get in the way,99 times out of 100 someone's not gonna be happy, its the beginning of the end I feel. Thanks for your article a lot of times, this world is so darn distracting one loses track of what's really important.
Comment from topmacc21
Outstanding article! It reflects today's "dating" trends. At 51, I am finding in increasingly more difficult to ascertain what constitutes a relationship. I am not looking for a fling, but have sadly discovered, that men my age, are non committal, and that dating is empty and meaningless. I refuse to get into these emotionally bankrupt liaisons. What happened to romance, morals, and values? Where are all the nice guys, whom you can bring home to meet your family? As a single parent, I want to model for my kids, how to make the right kind of friends, and choices. It has gotten to the point, where people are such players, that it puts everyone at risk. Now when I have a date, coming to pick me up, if my dog does not like him.......I don't date him. Evidently my pet has more of an instinct, than myself. A sad commentary on things. Thanks for your insightful statements and queries, in your article.
Comment from goatboy123
Gee, if this is so dang common, then where are the people that think this way? I haven't found but about 3 of them on the planet! I've tried websites, parties, going around trying to meet anyone anywhere it seems to no avail. I'm not ugly and I'd like to think I'm a decent guy! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I just want to have some good friends that if the opportunity presents itself, we can have some fun!
Comment from delhan
very interesting ... essential and interesting
Comment from tmars
I think it's a great article. But still a lot of ground needs to be covered, anyway it's great.
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