Cuddling Up When You’re All Alone

The weather here in the so-called Midwest has been pretty awful of late. Temperatures are so frigid that you risk frostbite just stepping outside to get the mail. It’s the kind of weather that kids love because it means school closings. Adult gay guys who have a man to cuddle up with can find the chill delightful for other reasons. It’s an excuse to bring out the blankets, hold each other tight, and get cozy. But if you don’t have a man, and the weather discourages you from venturing out to meet one, you can cuddle up with a good book, one that might give you something to break the ice with when winter gives way to spring and you’re back on the prowl for Mr. Right.

I’ve been cuddling up with quite a few books lately, including one that makes me feel like a kid home from school, but "The Sissy Duckling" by Harvey Fierstein and illustrated by Henry Cole may be more instructive for adults than the children for whom it was written.

As a child, I wasn’t much interested in literature aimed at children. The one exception was Charles Schulz’s "Peanuts," a comic strip that its creator once said was not targeted to children, and I believe him. The world of "Peanuts" was as cruel as the one we all inhabit. Who couldn’t identify with Schulz’s hapless hero, Charlie Brown, and his often futile attempt to find happiness, or recognize one’s own peers in the characters with whom he interacted? I knew my share of Lucys, and probably aspired to possess the wisdom of Linus.

None of these characters were gay, of course, but I’ve always wondered about Schroeder, the Beethoven enthusiast. How many gay boys, not yet aware of their sexuality but nonetheless suspecting they were different, shunned the activities that so preoccupied their peers and became lost in a world of their own? Ignoring Lucy’s constant flirtations, Schroeder obsessed over his keyboard, tuning out the world around him.

If Schroeder was gay, a book like "The Sissy Duckling" might have helped free him from the solitary world he seemed to inhabit, and expand his interests beyond music. A delightful book that celebrates diversity, it encourages its readers to be tolerant of boys who prefer baking to baseball. It’s perfectly harmless, but some of its readers disagree. A self-described "teacher" who posted a review at Amazon.com offers this warning to those who may consider buying the book: "Wake up, people, and recognize the gay agenda."

It seems that more heterosexuals are aware of the "gay agenda" than those of us who are accused of promoting it. The only agenda I have is to live and love with the same freedom that straights enjoy. As for "The Sissy Duckling," the only agenda it promotes is one of love and acceptance, something another reader understands:

"I am an assistant teacher in a kindergarten and I am thinking about reading this to my class. There is one little boy who wears high heals and plays dress-up. I want to teach him it is okay to be different."

Now, that’s the kind of teacher I wish I had when growing up, one who encouraged children to develop their individuality rather than shame them into becoming what they could never be. Turning a sissy into a supposed "real man" is almost as impossible as forcing a southpaw to favor his right hand. At best, it will only encourage the sissy to suppress his natural personality and adopt a defensive pose to protect himself from rejection. But to live your life constantly wrapped in armor is to live a life of fear, and a life lived in fear is not much of a life at all.

Homosexuals are often accused of wanting to "recruit" young boys to the gay "lifestyle" (whatever that is). I have no doubt that our accusers would consider a book like "The Sissy Duckling" to be Exhibit A. But most research suggests that a person’s sexuality is determined before they even set foot in a classroom. It cannot be changed, and no amount of wooing by homosexuals is going to turn a straight boy into a fag.

By the same token, no amount of conditioning is going to convince a sissy that football is more fun than dressing up in mother’s clothes or playing with Barbie dolls. The only thing we can do is allow children the freedom to discover who and what they are, and respect their rights as individuals. That’s the message that Mr. Fierstein delivers in "The Sissy Duckling," and it’s a message that needs to be heard.

As for me, I think I’ll bake some cookies to go with my hot cocoa, and cuddle up with some more books and wait for the temperature to rise.

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