It never happened.

I'd hide when I saw him, too shy to speak, too shy to even let him see me since I knew I couldn't disguise my lust. But my feelings were too intense to be denied. I had to express them and did in a poem rapturously praising his beauty and magnificent masculinity. I no longer remember most of the verses but then I never stopped writing them. The process of translating my lust into words was exciting in itself and kept me in the throes of erotic bliss. If I couldn't get him between the sheets of my bed, I could at least have him on sheets of paper.

My plan was to leave these words of love wedged between the door in an envelope addressed to STUD, but that was one more unfulfilled fantasy. I'm braver now, and the next time I'm hopelessly smitten with a guy but lack the nerve to approach him, I'm going to wrap my fingers around my most frequently used cylindrical object - a pen! - and put my feelings into words. And you should, too.

Valentine's Day is the perfect time to sharpen your poetic skills. Men who might be inclined to snicker at a poetry writing suitor may be more receptive on this day dedicated to romance. Besides, love knows no shame. One way to tell if you're truly in love is how willing you are to risk embarrassment in pursuit of it. So, let's get to work.

A thesaurus or rhyming dictionary is a useful tool, but you may find you enjoy the challenge of finding words that rhyme with ass ("It's a gas/ to feel your ass") and penis ("One touch of your penis/Sends me to Venus").

The word "love" gets quite a workout from poets but it's one of the toughest to fit into a couplet. There's "of" ("You're the one that I love/the one that I've been dreaming of") and "shove" ("When push comes to shove/You'll want my love"), and "glove," "dove," and "above," none of them ideal. You could replace love with "affection" which rhymes with "erection" (that should be inspire a memorable line or two) or you can use an Italian substitute like "amore" ("Open the door, Ray/I'm in amore").

Of course, poetry doesn't have to rhyme but unless you're truly gifted, it's best to stick to verse. Remember, the goal is love, not literary achievement. The simpler your technique, the more sincere your words are likely to sound.

But don't forget to look for inspiration in the work of other poets. The Penguin Book of Homosexual Verse edited by Stephen Coote and published by Penguin is now out of print but it's worth tracking down a copy in a used bookstore or library. In addition to poems by famous queers Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson, you'll find limericks such as this one by "Anonymous":

"Young Frederick the Great was a beaut.
To a guard he cried, 'Hey, man, you're cute.
If you'll come to my palace,
I'll finger your phallus,
And then I shall blow on your flute.'"

And there are plenty of other queer poetry collections to consult. You can't go wrong with Love Speaks Its Name: Gay and Lesbian Love Poems edited by J.D. McClatchy or Gay Love Poetry edited by Neil Powell.

Even with a published poet as your guide, you may find that your words fail to convey the passion you wish to express. If that's the case, find an existing poem that encapsulates your feelings and give it to your beloved. Originality is nice, but as with any gift, it's the thought that counts.

The bigger question may be how and when to send your love poem to the man you desire. Let these words from "Adaios," a poem by Alistair Elliott, be your guide:

"If you see someone beautiful
hammer it out right then.
Say what you think; put your hands full
on his buttocks: be a man!"

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