Simple Gifts

"Christmas is not a time nor a season," Calvin Coolidge, the 30th U.S. president, said, "but a state of mind."

I don't know if I would have agreed with Coolidge on much else (The New American Desk Encyclopedia describes him as a "moderately conservative republican"), but I share his feelings about the superstar of all holidays. To determine our own state of mind this holiday season, we need only examine quotations from two other notable figures and decide who comes closest to expressing our own feelings about Christmas.

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." - Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking.

"Christmas is an awfulness that compares favorably with the great London plague and fire of 1665-66." - Harlan Ellison, noted science-fiction author (who hates being called a "science-fiction" author, preferring "fantasist" instead).

If you agree with Mr. Peale, congratulations. You are, no doubt, a positive thinker whether you read his book or not. If you agree with crotchety Ellison, however, you might want to punch anyone who greets with you "Merry Christmas" in their nose until it's as red as Rudolph's.

The snow, for those of us in the colder regions, may, indeed, make everything softer and more beautiful, but for those of us who are single, Christmas can be the loneliest, most despairing time of all. For those of us who are gay and lesbian, however, it can be hell on earth.

If you've got a significant other, do you take him/her along for dinner at grandmother's house, the one with the Bush/Cheney sign still planted on the now snow covered lawn?

If you arrive solo, and you're the only member of your family who remains single, do you grin and bear it when someone asks you when you're going to get married, or tell them straight out that you're not straight and, therefore, marriage is not yet a legal option?

If you're not out to your family, even the Christmas music on the radio might make you apprehensive. Can you keep from blushing when that line about donning "our gay apparel" pops up in "Deck the Halls"?

Even the most outspoken among us can become shy, timid little creatures when back in the bosom of our families. We tend to revert to our childhood roles and save our speeches about equality and gay pride for strangers. And this year, when the U.S. has been carved up into "red states" and "blue states" and 11 of those states said no to same-sex marriage, we may be suffering from feelings of rejection as heavy as the time we got that G.I. Joe for Christmas instead of the Barbie doll, or the toy truck when we had our heart set on a toy kitchen set.

It's a blue Christmas, indeed. In the midst of all that, how can you be of good cheer?

By remembering what old Calvin Coolidge said. Christmas is a state of mind. A fictional president, one played by Jack Warden in the Peter Sellers classic, Being There, went Calvin one better: "Life is a state of mind." Think positive and be of good cheer, and don't give up the fight. If you don't have a partner to shower with presents, or even if you do, give a gift that can benefit all gays and lesbians.

Make a tax-deductible donation to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. For as little as $40.00, you'll not only be making a contribution to the continued fight for LGBT equality, but you'll also receive a year's subscription to The Advocate. In this way, you're giving yourself a present that will not only last all year long but will keep you informed on the issues and personalities that impact our community. Better yet, you're also taking a small step that could make future Christmases and all the days of the year brighter for the entire gay community. If you're still feeling discouraged by the election results, putting your money to work on behalf of gay marriage rights and other issues of equality is a good way to shake off any defeatist notions you have, and to get re-energized for future battles. I already joined. If you haven't, you can do so online at http://www.thetaskforce.org/

Make a non tax-deductible donation to the Human Rights Campaign at http://www.hrc.org/. The HRC is the largest national lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender political organization, and was instrumental in defeating the Federal Marriage Amendment in the House and Senate earlier this year. Basic membership is only $ 35.00 for one year.

"Simple Gifts" is not a Christmas carol, but its charming melody and inspirational lyrics strike me as appropriate for the season.

"'Tis a gift to be simple, 'tis a gift to be free

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be."
 

Give a simple gift that will help gays and lesbians reach the place "where we ought to be": Equal and free.

As for that Bush/Cheney sign in grandmother's front yard...

Like I said, at Christmas, in the bosom of our families, we tend to revert to our childhood roles. Even if you're like me and you throw like a girl, a nicely packed snowball should knock that baby down.


by Brian W. Fairbanks

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