He’s playing mind games with me – Help!

Dear Brenda,

I've been dating this guy for seven months. He's a lot older than me. I feel like he blows me off all the time, but when were together we’re wonderful - we don't fight or anything. I really like him a lot. There's a girl I know who says things to make me think that he has cheated on me and that scares me because I don't want to lose him. I feel confused. I asked him if he would ever cheat on me, and we got in a big fight. He told me he didn’t want to answer the question. But, when he did, he said he would never cheat on me unless Dolly Parton (or some rich girl) walked up. I guess that made me mad. Then he said that maybe I should believe what that girl says, and that made me even madder. He said I would probably be better off. We made up three days later. I'm still confused, and I don't want to lose him. Please help me - Tell me what I can do or say with out getting him mad at me?
- Madeline

Dear Madeline,

Let me point out what I see are flaws…

1st warning sign: He’s a lot older than you, and you sound on the young side, IE: Inexperienced.
2nd warning sign: You feel he blows you off all the time.
3rd warning sign: Some girl is gossiping, and you fear it could be true.
4th warning sign. You feel confused.
5th warning sign. He took the fifth when you asked him a simple, yet important question.
6th warning sign! He confirms the gossip!
How many signs do you need?

What is the girl’s motivation to tell you such distressing news? Is she a true friend, or could she be the one he’s cheating with – trying to get you out of the picture? Your problem is putting up with all kinds of crap to assuage your fear.

We know one of two things is true. He’s either innocent and gets angry for being accused of something that he didn’t do, or he’s guilty, and blows up at you to distract you from his guilt.
It sounds like a relationship lacking in trust. Can you live with that?

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