Why did my workplace love ditch me?

Dear Brenda,

There is a girl I work with whom I am absolutely crazy about. At first, we got along really well. She'd give me these beaming smiles and cheeky waves and stuff. Things sort of seemed to stabilize from then on. We'd just talk. I'm pretty shy, and I've never had a girlfriend in my life. One day I summoned enough courage to ask her out. She thought about it, and sort of seemed interested. Then a week later she just told me she wasn't interested. I can't work out why! I'm really devastated. I found out that some of her work mates had been making fun of me behind my back, and I don't know why. I just get the feeling they turned her off. What can I do? Help!
- Mark

Dear Mark,

Why do you think her workmates (I assume they are yours as well) would do that to you? That is so wrong. From your letter, it sounds like you did everything right. It's hard to read people we don't really know, and all we can do is to take a chance and try to pursue something. I'm sorry that this happened, but Mark, look at the positive side... you had the nerve (and trust me, a lot of men don't) to ask out a woman you saw and wanted. So what if this one didn't work out? The more you do this (go for what you want), the easier it gets. So what you get to take away from this situation is that she's actually helped you come closer to achieving your goal.

There is one thing I have to mention: Don't give a stranger the power to 'devastate you'. Save that for someone who cares. Which, hopefully, won't be long...

In the meantime... you could always be one of our featured members!

Back to advice archive