Should I forget my long distance love?

Dear Brenda,

I've gone out with quite a few women in my life, but I have been so unlucky! I've found that a lot of women only wanted friendship - that's okay, I am aware that things usually begin with friendship, but I was ready for something more. I'm 28. Earlier this year, my best friend died, which was devastating. We were very close. During our friendship, there were moments where we almost made it into a relationship, but distance and my shyness kept it from developing further. When she died, I thought that was it. Then earlier this year I visited a girl (21) whom I met last summer. I liked her right away. We had a great time, but I was so shy - I couldn't express my feelings. I was afraid that she would reject me. And the distance (she?s in Iowa, I'm in Maryland) made it impossible for us to connect. We made plans to visit Puerto Rico together (my home), but then she couldn't make the trip because she was going to China for a year of work/study, and she couldn't afford both trips. I told her that money was not an issue, but she declined my offer. Sadly, I had hoped that I could tell her how I felt on the trip. I call her once in awhile and she says that she'll keep in touch with me via email. But I feel that this friendship is going nowhere. A lot can happen in a year. I really liked her. Even if I tell her what I feel for her before she goes to China, I don't think that anything is going to change. Should I forget her and go on? Or should I still keep in touch with her? To tell you the truth, I can't tell how she feels about me.
- Fred

Dear Fred,

I think you should keep the friendship with this obviously intelligent, ambitious girl and... date other women. If "it" is meant to be, she will be in your life for a long time to come. It's good that you know what you want, but you can't let impatience run your life. It will kill any relationship you try to build or sustain. She's only going to China for one year. But if she has said she just wants to be friends, then you have to respect her wishes. She is young, and isn't pressed to settle down. You aren't that old yourself, Fred, now that you mention it... but I know you want a girlfriend. I do think you should definitely make an effort to see other people - if only to increase your odds of finding your dream girl.

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