I don't drink - Where do I go to meet someone?

Dear Brenda,

I'm a 37 year male and I don't drink a drop of alcohol. Everyone seems to go to the single’s bars to meet someone. I don't enjoy the bars. My weekends are usually spent with my son (which I really enjoy), at the gym, or at work. I'm a business owner and work 60-70 hour weeks. No social life. I am tired of being single, but I don't know where to meet a woman. Do I sound desperate? Because maybe I am…
- T.J.

Dear T.J.,
Sorry, but if you don’t drink, you’ll probably never meet anyone to have a satisfying, fulfilling relationship with.

Oh wait, that isn’t true... T.J., anyone who has done any sweetheart searching knows that the dating scene can be rough. I can understand why people might want to loosen their inhibitions before or as they toss themselves into the fray.

Anyway, back to you. First of all, treat this search of yours like you’re looking for an apartment. First, figure out what you really want. Does your dream girl have children? Is she childless/never been married? It sounds to me like you are too busy to even hang out in the park with the single moms or to take any sort of night class, which might reek of obviousness - so my suggestion is as follows:

Tell every friend and family member that you have, and perhaps a few close office associates, that you’re ready/willing to be set up. Join Date.com just for fun, and see how many responses you get. There are quality people on this service and I highly recommend it. Both of these approaches take minimal effort and could potentially bring you maximum return.

One of my best friends (male), who works in a male dominated industry, hadn’t had a girlfriend in years and was so out of the loop that he was walking around in confused circles. Poor guy. After suggesting he just simply try online dating, (and after listening to his initial arguments against), he is now celebrating his five year wedding anniversary. She was the third lunch-date that he met online. You steer your destiny, T.J. – but things won’t start happening until you get the gears in motion.

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