Finding True Love at a Gay Bar

Dear Brian,
I wasn't expecting to find true love at a gay bar, but I fell hard for a man I met at one recently, and now, after we've seen each other for only two months, he wants to move in with me. I like the idea because he really turns me on, but I have to admit I'm a bit suspicious of his motives. He likes to point out that we could save money by sharing rent and other expenses, but he lives with his mother and doesn't pay rent at all. In fact, his mother lets him live free of charge with everything, including food, provided for him. He has always lived with his mother even though he's 30 years old and has a good job in a bank. She does his laundry, cooks and cleans for him, and he comes and goes as he pleases. It's the only way in which he demonstrates any independence. If I let him move in with me, I'm afraid I might end up as his maid. He tells me he loves me, but when he comes over, he seems more interested in the contents of my fridge than in making love, and when we do have sex, he's only interested in satisfying his own needs rather than mine. I've only been out of the closet for a year and haven't had much luck finding a man so I would hate to lose him. What should I do?
- Not Maid to Order

Dear Not Maid to Order,
Based on what you've said, my advice would be to lose him before he worms his way into your life further and you can't get rid of him. He's been pampered by mommy all his life and will likely expect the same from you. If you're willing to be his slave, fine, but you don't sound too enthused about that possibility. You say you've only been out of the closet for a year, so your inexperience with gay sex seems to have made you susceptible to the charms of the first stud who came along. He may really turn you on, but don't confuse your sexual feelings for him with love. Lust is pretty powerful and it can make us surrender our common sense, which may be why you are even considering letting this jerk take over your life. You're too impatient. Finding love with the right man will take time. Until you find him, play the field all you want, but beware of hustlers who use their beauty to lead you around by your penis for their own best interests while ignoring yours.

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