The Long Goodbye

Dear Brian,
I had a 4-year relationship with a guy. We'd meet in a motel about once every two weeks. We did it all in bed. He loved having me screw him. He'd yell with total abandon. He was very romantic. The last time we were together, he said no one would ever love me as much as he did.
 
Yet the next morning, he vanished. Had been living with a girl friend. They  moved, I guess. He changed his phone number.
 
All along, I knew something was wrong. He wouldn't talk about his relationship with his girl friend or much of anything else. It was as if we were the only two people in the world and totally in love. But he would never ever see  me outside the bedroom. He always kissed me goodbye -- but said never to get too close, that his girl friend might smell my cologne or the scented goo we had been using in making love.
 
It's now close to five months later and I haven't heard a word from him. What should I do?
- Luthur

Dear Luthur,
Forget him.  That's what I think you should do.  Four years is a long time to be in a relationship but five months is a long time not to hear from a man who said he loves you more than anyone could.  He may have loved you and your description of his bedroom demeanor proves he certainly enjoyed sex with you, but it's obvious he is more committed to his girlfriend.  After all, he lived with her but only saw you in a motel room every two weeks.  He may be bi-sexual but clings more tightly to heterosexuality and the more conventional and publicly approved lifestyle that goes with it.  Who knows, he may reappear at some point in the future, but unless the girlfriend is gone for good, don't expect more than a hot time between the sheets in a motel room.

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