One Sided Relationship

Dear Brian,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years but we have spend more time apart than together in the recent 2 years. He has lost interests in having sex with me for almost 1 year. I thought this is going to change but he says it's not going to change in the near future, as he's too concerned with his career. He says he's lost interest in sex as a whole and it's not because of me. But I found him cruising porno web sites of big organs and he admit of having fun with another guy once. Not sure if there are other things that he's hiding. He used to be very hot and passionate for me but now he's colder than an ice cube. Once I was so hot for him that I had to jerk off but he did not even take a glance. I feel so insulted as it seems I'm so undesirable and having sex with me is so unpleasurable. Don't understand why he still wants to stay with someone he 's not interested in. On the surface he's still caring and he denies it's my problem, but that's probably just being nice and polite, as I'm not a giant. The intimacy has gone. I still need sex but open relationship does not work for me and he does not want to discuss that option. I feel very frustrated and confused. What's the point of keeping a bf who refuse to have sex with oneself? Should I ask him to leave?
- Big agony

Dear Big Agony,
It's obvious this relationship is now so one-sided that only a masochist would be content to see it continue. Your boyfriend's interest in porn sites featuring well-endowed men contradicts his claim that he's no longer interested in sex. He's interested in sex, all right, but not with you. So, why doesn't he simply sever the relationship? He probably finds it comfortable and convenient to have a boyfriend who is obviously hot for him and sees no reason to end it until he finds a replacement. But what's convenient for him is grossly unfair to you. His behavior smacks of cruelty. If you're so desirous of him that you masturbate in front of him and he simply ignores you, well, his reaction is more than insensitive, it's sadistic. Unless your boyfriend is willing to engage in a serious heart-to-heart talk about his indifference to you, it's time to call it a day and find a boyfriend who is as hot for you as you are for him.

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