Closing The Generation Gap

Dear Brian,
I was wondering if you would have any logical conclusions as to why this guy broke up with me? I've been seeing this guy for over 7 months and out of sudden he decides to end our relationship. We had a casual sex relationship which in the end I think he wanted to turn into a boyfriend type relationship. I'm a 27 year old Latino man & he's a 40 year old white man but that wasn't an issue until the end. The reason of the break up was that he started telling me that he felt guilty because he felt I deserved someone younger & better looking and who treated me better even though I never complained about anything! I have just about everything I need in my life & never asked for any favors or special treatment. I told him all I need is a guy like him even if we just meet once a week. Is that too much too ask for? We had great sex & enjoyed our nights together. He was also one of the nicest & sweetest man I have ever met! He left me all confused about the illogical breakup & i miss him. Thank you.
- Ivan

Dear Tired In Ivan,
From the looks of things, your 40-year-old lover is feeling insecure about his relationship with a man thirteen years his junior. Even though the age gap is not a problem for you, he is likely concerned that you'll meet someone younger and sever the relationship. His solution is to reject you before you have a chance to reject him. Then again, if he's looking for a "boyfriend type relationship" involving more than sex once a week, he may feel that sex is the only thing he has in common with a younger man and thinks he'd be more compatible with someone closer to his own age. Do the two of you have mutual interests apart from great sex? Are you interested in a "boyfriend type relationship" with him? If not, you may just have to let him go. But if you are open to a more committed, deeper relationship, let him know. Pursue him and do your best to assuage any fear he may have that you'll leave him when someone younger comes along. Of course, if you would leave him for someone younger, disregard the above advice and realize he acted wisely in breaking up with you.

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