Quick on the Draw

Dear Brian,
I'm new at this. I recently separated from my wife and have chosen to go with men. I have been with several men, but when it comes to getting off or cumming, I seem to last way too long. The lovers cum a lot quicker than I do and I'm left high and dry without cumming. I'm afraid that they think they have not satisfied me, but truly they have because it pleases me to get them off. I practiced not shooting too quickly with my wife. I could please her, but men are quicker. How can I get off quicker for the man I'm with? When I'm with a man I enjoy it so much I want to savor every moment. I really don't try to cum quickly. Is this bad on my part, and is it offensive to them? Does it make them feel bad about making out with me because I don't get off for them? I do tell them they are good and try to let them know that I just last a long time. The first man I was with said I last too long and he seemed to have a problem with that and now we don't see one another at all. I really liked him and thought he could be the one for me. I guess he wasn't. What do you think?
- Quick on the Draw

Dear Quick on the Draw,
If you're cumming too quickly for the man you're with, simply relax and let your orgasm occur naturally. Holding off on the climax requires an effort, but letting the cum flow should be easy. But taking a long time to cum is not normally a problem. Unless it's a quickie in a public restroom or the back seat of a car, what's the hurry? Lovemaking should take time. The men you're with should want it to be an experience, a production, not the sexual equivalent of a fast food meal. And the longer it takes for a man to cum, the more semen he'll produce. For most gay men, lots of semen, especially in the mouth at the climax of oral sex, is desirable and exciting. Your ability to hold off on shooting your load is a gift that I would advise you to treasure. It will make you very popular with men for whom sex is lovemaking, not merely a means of "getting off." I know that when I go down on a man, I want to prolong the experience as long as possible (or at least until my jaw starts to ache). The journey is every bit as enjoyable as reaching the destination. Sure, I want that final explosion, but everything that precedes it is a blast, as well. Personally, I suggest you find a man with whom you are more sexually compatible, one who wants to savor the moment as much as you do.

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