How Does A Guy Let You Know He's Interested?

Dear Brian,
Is there a sign that a guy is interested in you? Is there such a thing as gaydar that I hear so much about? I have also heard the eyes have something to do with it, too. Thanks Brian.
- Kenneth

Dear Kenneth,
Many gay men believe that gaydar, the ability of one gay guy to immediately identify another, is a genuine form of ESP that gay men possess. But gaydar generally refers to an ability to pick the homosexual out of the crowd, not specifically the one who is interested in you. How can you tell when a man finds you attractive? The eyes have everything to do with it. The cliche about the eyes being the windows to the soul is true. Think about it: sunglasses are called "shades" because they hide the eyes and, in effect, conceal the emotions and keep people at a distance. You can tell whether or not a smile is genuine by whether or not it reaches the eyes. If the corners of the mouth are upturned, it doesn't mean much if not accompanied by a sparkle in the eyes. The eyes can reflect sadness and a kind heart, illness, and even madness and evil. Look at the eyes of Adolf Hitler or Charles Manson. And make no doubt about it, the eyes are the second most reliable tool to communicate sexual attraction (the first, for a man, is the penis).

When a man can't keep his eyes off of you, he definitely finds you attractive. You'll notice him sneaking glances at you, and if you pass him on the street and turn around a moment later, he'll have turned around, too, to get another glimpse. If you're face-to-face and he makes eye contact - stares straight into your eyes and holds your gaze a little longer than you find comfortable - he not only finds you attractive but wants you to know he finds you attractive and is inviting you to do something about it.

Finding excuses to be near you, running his hands through his hair and otherwise paying more attention to his appearance than is necessary, preening for your benefit, are all ways a man gives clues that he is attracted to you. If he's really bold, he'll touch you, though not necessarily in a sexual way, and if given the chance, he may deliberately take a position beside you at a urinal to sneek a peek at your private parts. Then again, if he's shy, he may go to great pains to avoid doing all of the above, but it will be obvious he's making that effort and reveal his attraction, anyway. Other than the instinct to survive, nothing is as powerful as sexual attraction. It can rarely be denied.

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