Dazed and Confused

Dear Brian,
I'm 18 years old, and just recently came out to everyone, and now I'm looking for a relationship. My main source is the personals since I'm not really into the gay scene. Anyway, I've met a few people in person, some good, some bad, but none really clicked until this one guy I met a few weeks ago. He's almost everything I'm looking for: same interests, easy to talk to, get along with really well, and lives very close by. We have hung out a bunch of times and he seems as interested in me as I am in him. He's always the one who calls first and always the one that wants to hang out. After about the third time we met, I started getting frustrated because I know he likes me but yet he doesn't seem to want any sort of physical contact, not even a kiss on the cheek. I called him on it and he said he wasn't really ready for a relationship at this moment and would rather get to know me better. I really like this guy but my patience is running thin, and I want an actual relationship. Should I keep him as a friend and try and pursue others or should I wait for him to come around?
- Christopher

Dear Confused,
Since he always calls you first, maybe you should call him for a change to make it clear that you're as interested in him as he is in you. Right now, he may not be entirely convinced of that and is being cautious to avoid getting hurt. If he's around the same age as you, and only recently came out himself, he may be insecure about expressing himself physically. Even that kiss on the cheek you seek could scare him a bit if he fears it will lead to a kiss on the mouth, and, eventually, a full-fledged sexual encounter which he may not be ready for. If you like him, pursue him, but do it gently. Kiss HIM on the cheek and maybe try to hold his hand. If he doesn't run away, continue to take the lead until he gets comfortable. If he never gets comfortable, well, you gave it a shot, but may be better off looking elsewhere for the relationship you seek.

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