Getting Over a Great Lover

Dear Brian,
I am currently dating a brother who is in the closet. We have been together for about 6 months. I have fallen head over heels for this guy, and we have so much fun together, inside the bedroom and out. We have never even had an argument. Well, just recently he was given the opportunity for a promotion where he works. The catch to it is, he has to move across the states in order to have this position. He is going to take the job, and at the same time he's leaving me. I do wish him the best of luck, but I don't feel as if I could possibly move on. (Sex just isn't the same with anyone else) Let me put it to you like this, he is one of the good ones left, and I just so happened to stumble upon this. My question to you, Brian, is how can I cope with this loss of a great lover? Also, how could I show that I will miss him deeply without words?
- Urgent

Dear Urgent,
The best way to cope with the loss of a great lover is to get back into the dating scene and meet some other men. With time, you may not forget your previous lover, but the memories of your time together will become less intense and you’ll hopefully be able to see potential new lovers without always comparing them to the one that got away. If seeking a new Mr. Right so soon after a breakup is too difficult, throw yourself into your work or a hobby. As with any kind of loss, it’s best to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. Based on what you’ve told me, your lover is leaving you only to take a new position. If that’s the case, and he, too, laments the loss of a great lover, have you considered going with him? As for how to show him you’ll miss him without words, well, speaking isn’t the only thing a gay guy can do with his mouth. Give him a BJ. That’s the way I would demonstrate my love for a man. Make mad, passionate love to him!

Back to advice archive