Fact or fantasy?

Dear Brian,
I work with this rather shy guy and I think he likes me. I went up to him the other day and gave him my phone number and said give me a call sometime. His response was “um.. .ok” (in a weirded-out sort of tone -- he didn’t expect it). How do I know if he is into me or if I am just making this all up in my head.
- JTL

Dear Joeyr,
If he calls you, he’s probably into you. If he doesn’t, well, that’s where things get murky. After all, he’s shy, so his failure to call even after you’ve encouraged him to do so does not mean he lacks interest. Shy people (and having suffered from shyness myself, I speak from personal experience) are usually self-doubting, unaware of their attributes and, therefore, lacking confidence. Shyness is a weirded-out sort of affliction. The negative feelings shy people have are rarely rooted in reality. Good looking people can think they’re unattractive, smart people can think they’re dumb, etc. By giving him your phone number, he could just think you’re being nice, taking pity on someone who sees himself as rather pitiful. If you like him, you’ll simply have to pursue him further. With shy people, you need to make twice the effort, sometimes more, to break the ice and make your interest known. Sometimes, with shy people, all the effort in the world fails to reap results. So, the question is: Do you like him enough to make that effort? Is he worth it?

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