Suspicious Mind

Dear Brian,
My boyfriend and I have a long-distance relationship and have been together for 10 months. I love him very much but I have trouble convincing him that I'm not cheating on him or that I'm going to leave him, especially since he has been cheated on in the past. What can I do or say to reassure him? Any advice would help. Thank you very much.
- Andrew

Dear Andrew,
The only thing you can really do to reassure him is to remain faithful, and avoid any situations or behavior that might make him suspect you’re cheating on him. But if it’s a long-distance relationship, there may be nothing you can do to reassure him. He doesn’t know what you’re up to, just as you don’t know what he’s up to. It’s also possible he’s suspicious because he has his own temptations, and may have come close to giving in to them. Sometimes the least trusting person is the one who knows he can’t be trusted himself. But no matter. This is his problem, and he must deal with it. Just tell him you love him and that you’re faithful. If that’s not enough, and he’s convinced you’re not being true to him, you may just have to give him the ultimatum: he either trusts you or he doesn’t, and if he doesn’t and has no evidence to support his suspicions, goodbye. Either that, or insist that he move so that distance is no longer a problem. Of course, if he’s really jealous, that may be the last thing you need.

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