Anonymous and Nasty

Dear Brian,
I am 23 years-old and recently came out. I love going to gay bars and picking up guys and going home with them. I have sex with a lot of men without even knowing their last names. I just can’t seem to help it. My friends know I’m gay and say its okay as long as I practice safe sex. I like real men who just want to be sucked. I don’t like guys who are into cock. I also like rough men and rough sex. The meaner the men are to me, the better I like it. I’m really confused about this. If you could help, I’d greatly appreciate it. Am I a total slut or what?
- Jackson

Dear Jackson,
Your promiscuity combined with the kind of partners you prefer suggests you have strong masochistic tendencies. You require pain for your pleasure, as well as degradation. It’s possible this kink is unrelated to your homosexuality and you’d have similar interests if you were straight, but since you don’t like men who are "into cock," you obviously only have sex with men who don’t reciprocate. To them, you’re a mouth and anus, something to stick their dicks into and nothing more. These guys might as well be homophobic straight men, especially if they're also physically or verbally abusive. Whatever turns you on, honey, but I think you may be secretly ashamed of your homosexuality. By servicing rough men who mistreat you - sadists - you may see yourself as a perverted faggot who deserves to be punished for his sexual desires. If this is strictly a sexual kink that you can keep locked in the bedroom, it may not be a serious hindrance to your future happiness. But if it prevents you from having a true loving relationship with another man, one that doesn’t involve abuse and degradation, you need to do something about it. Start by asking yourself some tough questions and answering them honestly. Do you lack self-respect? Do you have guilt about your homosexuality? Those who engage in anonymous, promiscuous sex often have nagging doubts about their self-worth. If that is the case with you, read some books on how to raise your self-esteem, and follow the advice they offer. If necessary, seek professional treatment. In the meantime, if you continue to change partners frequently, make sure those cocks are wearing condoms.

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